Beloved First
In this episode, Gaby Salib shares how Henri Nouwen’s spiritual wisdom shaped her faith, vocation, and sense of belovedness amid the pressures of academia and early adulthood. Drawing from her Coptic Orthodox roots and participation in the 30 Under 30 cohort, Gaby reflects on ecumenical friendship, mentoring across traditions, motherhood, and her creative project of children’s books inspired by Life of the Beloved. Together with Wendy VanderWal Martin, the conversation explores longing for home, hospitality, and finding freedom and identity as God’s beloved in a wounded and divided world.
Resources & Links
2026 Conference Website - https://www.conference.henrinouwen.org/
Sponsor 30 > 30 https://www.henrinouwen.org/give
Register For January’s Book Club for Reaching Out https://henrinouwensociety.ticketspice.com/january-book-club-reaching-out
Book Discussed:
Reaching Out
https://amzn.to/2AxxCBJ (CAD)
Available On
Transcript
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Wendy VanderWal Martin: Welcome listeners and friends to a new episode of Now & Then….Again, produced by the Henri Nouwen Society. My name is Wendy VanderWal Martin, and I'm really just thrilled to be your host today and to welcome one of our 30 under 30 leaders. Gaby Salib. Welcome, Gaby.
Gaby Salib: Thank you, Wendy. I'm so pleased to get to speak with you today about all the impact that we've seen in the program.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Well, tell us a just a bit about yourself, Gaby. Where are you zooming in from and where are you in your life's journey? What's your location, so to speak, on the road of life?
Gaby Salib: So I am zooming in from Baird, Delaware, little quiet town sort of coastal. We're, we're pretty close to the water, which has always been a point of refuge for me. And after spending a good bit of time in Philadelphia, it's been a real gift to have some quiet space to walk and spend that time of meditation like Father Henri always encourages. And in terms of other life movements that I'm experiencing right now, I am currently nine months pregnant. And so excited and anticipating welcoming my baby boy pretty soon. And I'm also a design researcher for TD Bank which is a really exciting role to play, role in advocating for people in a really important part of their lives and their financial management. And so that's also an exciting part of my life right now, too.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Well, we are so thrilled that baby Salib is on his way, and you would never guess you're nine months pregnant … other than perhaps the glow that we see for those of you who are watching on YouTube, those of you who are listening, Gaby looks just absolutely beautiful as a, as a mom to be. So thrilled that you're in the program. But tell us first, how did you encounter Father Henri's writings? I know that you often refer to Henri as Father Henri.
Gaby Salib: Yeah. So my upbringing, I come from a Coptic Orthodox tradition. And I, I'm sure that shows in a good in a way when I refer to him as father because the, his priesthood actually is part what I really admire about under, about his teaching also, that he brings a different perspective to pastoral care in his writing, in his work that I haven't always seen you know, in in different experiences. But it's been really valuable to see his pastoral care and his mentorship in his work. And my Orthodox tradition was also a kind of a way into some of Father Henri's work in that he writes about a lot of the Orthodox Scholars from our early days in the church in The Way of the Heart, which was my first of his writings.
Gaby Salib: And it was really unique to see a Western writer discuss Orthodox Scholars. And so that was something I really appreciated, was to get kind of a modern take on writings that we tend to feel like are a little outdated or out of, like, current context. And seeing him bring them into our modern day and make them so much more real really touched my heart in a lot of ways. But what made the most impact on me from Henri's writings are, was The Life of the Beloved. My church has a nice little reading table - different options to just pick up a new book on our spiritual journeys. And Life of the Beloved just happened to be an option, and I had enjoyed Way of the Heart before, and so decided to go for it.
Gaby Salib: And I was in my first year of grad school at the time, I was studying for my PhD in human-centered computing. And the academic environment was brutal for me. It was brutal in so many ways, but primarily in making me kind of constantly question my worth in the productivity that I had, whether it was producing papers or meaningful insight and new knowledge, having a good question to ask at the end of an academic talk that, you know, always had many layers to it. And so took like, took a lot of took a lot of work to train and, and learn how to how to keep an eye for what's most interesting, what, what's missing from the conversation. But in any case his discussion of like the academic world and how it question he, it made him question his own identity was such a welcomed like relationship and mentorship that I needed at the time. And being reminded that I was the beloved of God before I did anything. Before I entered a grad school program before I made any meaningful insight or contributed to academia in any meaningful way really was a huge … I found such huge liberty. And I finally understood the moment that and the verse that God gives us is promise that where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty. I had such freedom in learning from Life of Beloved.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Wow. That's beautiful. Gaby. I of course know a bit of your story, but I didn't even know all of those things, so thank you for sharing. Now, for those of you listening who maybe aren't so familiar with what our 30 under 30 program even is, we are approaching the 30th anniversary of Henri Nouwen's untimely Death in 1996. And as part of commemorating that we'll be hosting a significant conference in May -14th through 16th 2026. And it occurred to me that wouldn't it be wonderful to gather some young leaders aged 30 and younger, 30 of them in fact, and journey together for a year, using a combination of mentoring and cohort or peer learning and projects that are integrating Henri Nouwen’s spiritual wisdom into each leader's life and learning context and what an adventure it has been. And so, Gaby, tell us, how did you even hear about this program and what made you want to apply to be part of it?
Gaby Salib: Well, I heard about the program because I religiously read the Nouwen newsletter Meditation <laugh> and
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Gold Star. Gold star.
Gaby Salib: We love Oh, love 'em. I'm always passing them to my husband to read with me. And my sister is also a really dedicated reader of the meditations. And, you know, I think I had seen the call for the program in the newsletter, but didn't think a lot of it, but my sister really encouraged me. She told me, “Hey, this seems like something you would be interested in.” Because I am always trying to spread Henri's impact of his work left and right, you passing books out constantly. And so she felt like it would be a really good fit and really encouraged me. And when I started reading the questions for the application, even just reflecting on the impact that Father Henri had had on my life and how I see myself and my community even just that was a gift. And so I knew I needed to go full force <laugh> on this application to, to engage with the program however I could.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Well, and Gaby, tell us a bit about how you have experienced some of the diversity in the cohort. So you bring a beautiful orthodox tradition and formation, and I know you've made good friends with someone who's a United Methodist minister, and there are people from a variety of spiritual and Christian backgrounds and different experiences in life, different places that they're engaging. What has that diversity been like for you?
Gaby Salib: Oh, Wendy, it, it's been such a highlight of getting to participate in the cohort to understand and to see different perspectives in our Christian family has truly been a gift because I mean, very rarely do we get exposure to different traditions and different thought practices within our faith. And unfortunately, you know, we have some isolation whether intentional or not. And I have, I, it's been such a deeply appreciated experience to see how everyone, the way that we can all connect over, like the creativity that God gives us and his role in our lives and seeing his hand in our lives, even if, you know, we have, we have different takes on, you know, the structure of the church maybe, and the hierarchy, like the it, it's helped me come back to like what is most important in our Christian family and has just been so such a, a deeply enlightening experience.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Hmm. Well, and in his life, Henri was able to transcend a lot of differences and perhaps even divides in the body of Christ. Ecumenism was extremely important to him. Lots of different traditions sort of assume or claim him to be their own. You know, the joke is evangelicals think Henri was evangelical. You know, Catholics say he was Catholic, which he was, but different traditions sort of claim him. And Henri, of course, always wanted his life to bear fruit beyond his life on this plane. And I think the fruitfulness in this cohort of people from many different backgrounds, different theological positions on a variety of matters, and yet a deep desire to have a rich spiritual life of both contemplation and action that, you know, is just another expression of the fruitfulness that Henri had hoped his life would bear. And I always think, boy, he would smile if he could sit in on our cohort meetings and you know, he loved students. And the curiosity and the passion that so many of you have brought to our times together and to your mentoring relationships really has been very beautiful. And so tell us about your project. Who's mentoring you? How's that going? What are you learning as you encounter Henri, you know, in some different ways through this program?
Gaby Salib: Yeah. Well a matter of fact, as a matter of fact my, my mentor, Elizabeth Miller, I mean, just really Dr. Elizabeth Miller has been such an incredible and godsend mentor. And and what's really beautiful is that that actually came up early in our conversations that that Henri Nouwen would be so surprised to, or maybe not so surprised to see, you know Orthodox mentee with I'm, actually, I'm not certain that Episcopalian, I believe practicing storyteller and scholar of the theology of mothering that we would come together over Catholic writings Catholic priest’s writings. So it's something that came up really early on in our conversations. Just the beauty of like not seeing like the, the ways that our unfortunately that our Christian family has been divided as, as any hindrance to us learning and growing together.
Gaby Salib: And so that was, that was something that came up really early on. And so that mentoring relationship has continued to blossom in incredible ways. I wasn't pregnant when I applied for the program, or even when it started <laugh>. And it's been completely God's timing to get, to experience this journey and, this moment of my family growing going coinciding with the program and to get Elizabeth's perspective throughout that whole journey. I've understood more about the spiritual aspects of motherhood simply like by our conversations together. And my project is designing children's books, picture books that reflect the life of a beloved. So right now understanding more about children's experiences of being chosen, blessed, broken, and given to the world for as, as fruit out of our brokenness, has been a really incredible reflection.
Gaby Salib: Like what does that look like in a child's perspective? And Elizabeth and I have also been able to work through how that really does look very similar to the adult experience of brokenness and to be given to the world. So it's a lot more relatable to parents also. And we're really hoping to create spaces within these picture books that allow kids and their parents to open conversation about, you know, the challenging feelings they've experienced throughout the day. When you're sitting down for bedtime, it can be chaotic. I've although this is my first child, I do have two nieces that basically claim as my own and <laugh> and the those times can be challenging, but can also be a real blessing of connecting. And it's been such a gift to work through that with Elizabeth.
Gaby Salib: And to remember the presence of God in that connection. I feel like I went on a journey with that <laugh>, but it really there, there are just so many valuable aspects. I really hardly scratched the surface even. And I'm sure you've gotten to see just incredible connections created. We had a conversation just the other day with many of the other mentors and, and how it's been such a gift to connect with the, with mentees and the passions that God has put on their hearts. And so, I mean, we're so grateful to see God's hand working through you, Wendy in, in all of these matches.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Well, and to be honest, one, it has been a, just a special joy to see when a mentoring relationship clearly is richer and deeper than I ever imagined. And so the fingerprints of the Spirit are all over the place. You know, if I think of you and Elizabeth, I knew Elizabeth was a storyteller. I knew that you, your project was about stories, but the whole mothering piece, we didn't know you were pregnant. I didn't know that mothering was a particular part of Elizabeth's area of study and prayer and so on. So, you know, that's just one example of many where the connection has been so much God's joy and love for not only the mentees, but the mentors too. I know that the mentors have been just enjoying and appreciating the opportunity to pour into a younger leader's life. So it's, and the conversation you referenced, Gaby most of the mentors have only spent time with their mentee.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: And, but for Advent and sort of a Christmas gathering, we brought as many folks as could make it together on Zoom. And I think for the mentors, it was a sense of, oh, wow, this is, this is bigger than just the one-on-one conversations I've had. And I am hoping that with these podcasts, our larger Henri Nouwen community will have a sense too, of the beauty that God has been pouring into this program, that really, other than the seed of an idea, I did not have 100% mapped out. And we've been following with the light that God gives for the next step and learning together. One of the things that we will be doing as a cohort is leading a youth day, the first day of the conference. And so the conference truly begins in the evening, but during the day the cohort and I will be hosting 300 Catholic high school students to share Henri Nouwen with them.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: And not only Henri, but of course, the deep themes that he spoke about that our young people are grappling with loneliness, anxiety, depression struggling with how to make space in such a busy, hectic device driven, distracting world for God, quiet, solitude space with God. So, so many exciting things, and I would be remiss if I didn't say to our listeners a high point is that this cohort will come together in May, in person. The mentees will be there, hopefully many of the mentors will also come to the conference. But we're looking for sponsors to make travel accommodations, meals and conference registration available to our 30 under 30 leaders so that they can simply come and receive. I have felt very strongly as I've prayed for the cohort this year, that this is to be an experience of grace and joy and freedom.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Gaby, you used the word liberty earlier. And many of our young people are in very pressured situations. The systems of the world that are competitive, that are demanding, that are constantly pushing for more production are systems that are difficult to resist, especially when you're young and starting out and trying to establish your life. And so, I have very much felt as I've been praying that this deposit of this experience for you, 30 young people, is in the opposite spirit to all of that. That there's grace and joy and freedom. And so if that touches your heart and you want to sponsor one of our 30 under 30, please get in touch with me through the HenriNouwen.org website. I would be glad to have further conversation with you about that.
Now, Gaby, the conference, which is so exciting to think about, has a very profound theme, at least I believe it's profound, and it is Longing for Home. And of course, Henri was searching for home, but he also spoke with such spiritual depth about the home we find in being the beloved of God. So Longing for Home: the Prophetic Witness of Henri Nouwen in a Wounded World. So Gaby, what resonates with you about that theme? What have you encountered in Henri's writing? What are you looking forward to learning about at the conference? What just really gets you saying, “yes that is timely for this conference in this day”?
Gaby Salib: Thank you for the question, Wendy. Longing for home, I think is a, is a desire we all have, like, so deeply in each of us. It's like what drives the initiative we take in friendships in reaching out, maybe even to strangers. And it reminds me of Henri Nouwen's call for hospitality in his work, Reaching Out that hospitality is when we make, when, when we just allow a space like it, it's not like forcing anyone to be a certain way or to say a certain thing or to have really, you know, insightful moments of conversation. But to just give him space to be present with us. And you know, I, I think we've…. I've been fortunate enough to experience this this moment of hospitality in the cohort. You mentioned and referenced before the friendship that I've been able to that God has gifted me in, in the cohort that I happen to be like in physical proximity to another member of the cohort, although it's been beautiful to connect internationally with, with the cohort members.
Gaby Salib: … but I've gotten to you know, grab dinners with my friend Ally in the cohort and connecting with her. I think we were both longing for home in a friendship.
Gaby Salib: And our, the inspiration and the mentorship that we've received from you and from Henri that connects us I think has been a really solid foundation for building this connection of home, for building this hospitable space for one another. And I'm really hoping that that's something we can continue to explore in the conference. That we have more conversations about the ways that our society has started to become so divisive and driven by, you know, whether it's algorithms or our own desire just to be right, you know, so it's not all technology led. It's inherent in us that this desire to be right and, and to kind of isolate in our own perspectives. But I'm hoping that in the conference we can discuss a little more about how we make and create hospitable spaces for all of us longing for a home, all of us longing for that space to just be present with one another not demanding anything or expecting anything of one another. But giving space to just be present and to remind each other of our belovedness because it's in friendship that we remind one another of our belovedness and our chosenness, how we've been taken by God, not there's no space to be taken by other things, other desires in the world. We've been chosen and we, so I'm really hoping that, that we can flourish more of that hospitality that I've been so fortunate to get to experience with Ally and the cohort - to many others during the conference and, and hopefully continued relationships beyond
Wendy VanderWal Martin: Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Yes, it's I'm tickled that you mentioned Reaching Out. I've been immersed in Reaching Out the last week or so as I prepare for the new daily meditations in 2026. And January's meditations will be largely taken from the book, Reaching Out: the Three Movements of the Spiritual Life. The first, of course is from loneliness to solitude, the second Gaby referenced from hostility to hospitality, and then the third from illusion to prayer. And that coincides with January's book club that we'll be looking at Reaching Out. So exciting times in the Society and our programming to connect people, to be talking about the things that matter and things that will make peace and make space for God and space for each other in our wounded world.
So Gaby, thank you so, so much for being who you are. A beautiful, beloved daughter of God, a mom to be, someone who's been vibrant in our cohort and who continues to wrestle to discern what is the way forward.
Wendy VanderWal Martin: How do I be faithfully fulfilling my vocation as a mom and as someone in the workforce, as a wife, as part of a greater family and a church family. Indeed Henri's spiritual wisdom is I always want to say relevant, and then I remember that Henri said, don't try to be relevant, <laugh>, I need a better synonym, but that it is timeless and so applicable and accessible to your generation. That's an encouragement for those of us who were alive when Henri was writing and publishing and anticipated getting his next book. But to know that there are so many of you who were born after his death and yet have encountered in him a way to God that is connected so deeply for you. Gaby, it's been a pleasure,
Gaby Salib: Wendy, and the pleasure is all mine to be mentored by you and expand my horizons by all the spiritual practices that you've engaged in with us. Truly, it's been a gift,
Wendy VanderWal Martin: <laugh>. Well, thanks for being with me in this conversation. And for those of you who are listening, never, ever, ever forget that you truly are the beloved of God. Let that ground you and sustain you and take you into 2026 with much joy and grace and freedom. Thanks for listening.
