Mon March 8 From Popularity to Ministry
Reading: Section II From Popularity to Ministry
Another great section of the book, with much to ponder! We have had such wonderful discussions already I am confident of another great week ahead. For those of you who are just joining, I’ve provided some discussion questions to get us going. Feel free to share reflections on them, or to share what resonated with you.
In the beginning of this section Henri articulates the fact that the “stardom and individual heroism which are such obvious aspects of our competitive society are not at all alien to the church.” Yet, “Jesus makes it clear that ministry is a communal and mutual experience…. We cannot bring good news on our own.”
1) Why do you think Jesus so clearly commands us to minister in pairs?
2) What are some difficulties/benefits you’ve encountered working in pairs/small groups?
Henri goes on to talk about how ministry is not only a communal experience, it is a mutual experience. He contrasts this to the more common style of ministry which is an “us helping them” mentality, which “quickly becomes a subtle way of exercising power over others…”
4) For those of you who have worked in an institutionalized social service setting (often very important) or a ministry setting which clearly follows the rules of “us helping them,” what affect does this model have on those being served? Examples?
He then suggests that “A whole new type of leadership is asked for in the church of tomorrow, a leadership which is not modeled on the power games of the world, but on the servant leader, Jesus, who came to give his life for the salvation of many.”
5) What do imagine this looks like in practice?
6) Can you give specific examples of when you’ve seen this mutuality in ministry being practiced? What affect does this model have on those being served?
Finally, Henri states that the key discipline which will allow us to move towards this model Christian leadership is that of confession and forgiveness.
7) Is the discipline of confession “alive and well” in your personal life? In your church?
8) What holds you back? What are some practical ways to grow in this discipline?
9) What are some cautions to keep in mind when growing in this discipline?
10) How can we support those leading us to be able to walk in the discipline of confession and forgiveness? (really think through this one)
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March 15th, 2010 @ 6:34 pm
I know we are on to a new week, but I just wanted to say thank you to Susan (post #12) for her comments on confession. I found myself connecting strongly with the way she so beautifully articulated her thoughts on this subject.
March 15th, 2010 @ 1:45 am
I had’t had a chance to read or post anything until now (at 11:30pm here in California) because it’s been an incredibly full week. But I wanted to get something in before midnight my time!
I spent the night reading through everyone’s posts and was especially appreciated these words from Sally (#5), which others have commented on as well: “In the confessional, the ‘bridal chamber,’ He waits for us. He longs to take our wounds into Himself. He helps us not ‘to forget’ His love. Why should we fear what can set us free?” I practice confession regularly with an accountability partner (I’m not a Catholic, so I’ve never been in a confessional). I just met with her last night and shared that I often dread our meetings because I must account for all of the ways I have fallen short of perfection and holiness. I really appreciate the image of the bridal chamber, though, because it is an image of intimacy and love in which we are given freedom–a much more welcoming image than the one I typically have of confession.
On the topic of being spectacular, so many of the posts above have comments that resonate with my experience. I’d like to add something from a book by David Bosch called “Spirituality of the Road” that expresses my thoughts better than I could: “Our inability to accept ourselves as we are [as limited beings] reveals itself in many ways. It is, for instance, much easier to admit our own weakness than to admit our own insignificance. Often self-inflicted martyrdom is a means of covering up this nagging fear of being unimportant. . . . The problem here is–to put it differently–my inability to distinguish between myself and my accomplishments.” Ever since I read those lines, I’ve been trying to think about what it means to cultivate a “spirituality of insignificance.” It goes completely against my nature, which would far prefer a spirituality of spectacular-ness.
March 14th, 2010 @ 6:59 pm
Thanks Patricia for giving us a “wrap-up” comment. I think it is true that each week opens up so many thoughts, and truths to ponder. I’m thankful for each post given.
And, there are more truths to ponder in the week to come! I’d invite everyone up to the most recent post: Mon March 15: From Leading to being Led.
I can’t wait to see how our conversation unfolds this coming week.
Brynn
March 14th, 2010 @ 2:06 pm
Recognizing we will be wrapping this section up tonight, I would like to slip at list one more post into the fray!
I have been reviewing my own post where I mentioned collaboration, as well as Ray’s interesting response. Knowing how complex true collaboration can be, I have a few misgivings of bringing it into our discussion. Ray’s response intrigued me so much, I pulled out some writings I have on the subject - but have decided to put them to the side - for now. I will definitely return to collaboration in future studies, as I find it pulls at me.(Thank you, Ray,#21)
I do believe that our recurring theme of Listening, brings collaboration into play.
I can always tell when I have stopped listening to someone, because all of a sudden I want to speak, and I start getting ready to “jump in”. A sure sign I need to “jump back”!
And so often, all someone wants, is for someone else to listen. And sometimes, either role, is us.
Thanks to everyone for listening to me, and to each other. This is such a positive experience for me.
Blessings,
Patricia
March 14th, 2010 @ 12:04 am
A number of years ago now I initiated a social support program as an adjunct to the more practical outreach service provided by a church organisation I volunteered with. I had no experience with this type of thing but felt that it was needed and approached others in an effort to make it happen.
The aim of the program was to help empower people who were often marginalised in our community to socialise with others, discover new things and uncover and grow their own strengths in a safe and supported group setting. We set it up in a way that over time the participants would be the ones making the decisions about what the group would do and take leadership in the running of the programs themselves, giving everyone a share in the ownership. It was wonderful to see people grow in confidence as they realised that they too had something to offer, however small and beyond that, that they were appreciated and loved just as they were.
Giving someone a hand-up rather than a hand-out is so much more respectful of their unique and special place in God’s kingdom. It’s about coming alongside others (rather than doing it to or for them) and saying “What would I/you/we like to do or see happen and how can we do this together?” acknowledging each person’s strengths in the process (discernment followed by collaboration). God has given each and every one of us the power within to transform our own lives and the lives of others - we just need to shine a light on the possibilities, for ourselves and for each other.
March 13th, 2010 @ 11:09 am
As I’ve mentioned in comments in earlier weeks I just became unemployed (down-sized in the corporate vernacular). I am so grateful for this time of transition. There are fears and anxieties, but I am also sensing the close presence of Jesus with me in this journey. He is walking right next to me.
I am also grateful for this discussion group.
I just finished a two-day prayer retreat on discernment. What excellent timing for me! This section of Nouwen’s book spoke to many of the issues that surfaced for me as I contemplated future work. The temptation to be spectacular can be so subtle. For a variety of reasons, one of the paths I am considering is some kind of work with a non-profit that is engaged in protecting the weak from the powerful. Both the prayer retreat and this section from Nouwen have helped me to see that in addition to many good motives, there is also my desire to be both “relevant” and “spectacular”, and a desire for recognition. I’m asking myself “would I pursue this work if it was hidden? if none of my friends were saying ‘oh, look at the good work he’s doing’?”
In that context, I am particularly touched by Henri’s comment that “whenever we minister together, it is easier for people to recognize that we do not come in our own name, but in the name of the Lord Jesus who sent us.” I’m grateful for the wisdom of that insight. And I am asking myself would I be equally interested in this kind of work if I was working “hidden” within a team?
Blessings on all of you on this beautiful morning in the Pacific Northwest. As I’ve been typing a large Gilded Northern Flicker has been hammering on a metal deck handrail outside my window - time for the neighbourhood to wake up!
March 13th, 2010 @ 10:02 am
Katy #3 - I am praying this morning -right now as the morning sun lights the bottom of the clouds - that God will bring warm, open, compassionate friends into your presence that you can share, confess and pray with
March 12th, 2010 @ 9:01 pm
We are commanded to work in pairs so we can listen and learn from each other. I also think possibly for humility as I know sometimes I know right away that I just “click” with someone and it’s like I’ve known that person a long time so it’s easier to talk to that person. The discipline of confession is coming alive in me. One of the things my pastor said to me when I started this process of dealing with the struggles I am having at this point in my life was “transparency is more important than giving an image of being strong and in control” I have been working hard at it and trying to turn all of my troubles and sins over to God to direct me on the path he wants me to go. What holds me back from confessing to others is that I have hidden behind that wall of being strong and in control for so long that I really find it hard to share my struggles with others. In the struggles of life I’ve been experiencing lately it is a relief to know that others, as well as my pastor and counsellor struggle with some of the same things I do. It makes it easier for me to share my own struggles when I know that others share them in their own lives. In response to Katy post #3 I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you find a friend locally who you can confide in. I know the feeling. It wasn’t until recently that I found friends who could empathize and be compassionate and not leave me feeling as if I am doing something wrong. I struggle enough with those feelings on my own. Sally #5 ” He “rolls away the stone” which has kept us entombed in the smallness of our dark, and grievous wounds.” That really speaks a lot to me right now. I am coming out of the dark. Rose post #6 I love your mantra “please take care of all the intentions of my heart” and may have to adopt that for myself. My counsellor asked me yesterday if I was praying about something in particular and I said not so much, so she told me to start and I told her I have so many things right now to pray about it’s kind of overwhelming but to read the way you put it makes it a much easier task for when time is short and you’re right, there are no answers. Brynn #7, I agree I also appreciate the reminder to just listen when someone is sharing a struggle… to not try to fix it, to just listen. Be present. I appreciate it from the side of the one doing the sharing and all the folks that I have encouraging and supporting me right now. Susan #12 I love your description of confession in the last line, very well put. Ray #21, I couldn’t agree more even in cyberspace where two or three are present so is the Lord. Brynn #22, what a great piece to share. The mutuality in ministry can be humbling.
I have seriously enjoyed each and every post and am thankful that the Good Lord led me to this place to share this book and our thoughts with each other, as well as our prayers.
March 12th, 2010 @ 6:12 pm
I’ve mentioned before that I spent two years walking beside refugee claimants, here in Toronto. The individuals and families who I lived with had walked through traumatic experiences in their home countries, and were then living the uncertainty of a future in Canada. One of the main things I learned (thanks to great leadership) is the possibility for mutuality in ministry.
It is true that in my role there I helped people in very practical ways, and in many necessary ways. We certainly did a lot of that. However, I was constantly reminded that the individuals I was helping also had a great many strengths. They had walked through, and survived much more than I could imagine. I began to see the importance of looking for the strengths or abilities inside them, that they perhaps had forgotten were there.
One very simple example of this. One day a woman that I worked closely with commented on a sweater I was wearing. She said, “that is a lovely sweater, but the pattern isn’t hard. I could probably knit one like it.” I immediately became her enthusiastic student, and she began to teach me to knit. She was an amazing teacher! Not only did she demonstrate her pure skill as a knitter, she also demonstrated her ability to teach.
I then invited her to join us in our public education visits, and she did a wonderful job speaking to various groups and classrooms around the city.
The times I spent in the position of student, I also learned from her life. I learned from the experiences she had walked through. I saw how she maintained a strong faith in Jesus through the most horrendous situations. I learned from her experience as a mother and wife.
All the while I was helping her complete her legal process, find work, adapt to life in Canada, and countless other practical parts of the refugee process, she was also teaching me valuable life lessons. She is doing remarkable well now, by the way, and her confidence and abilities shine through.
Brynn
March 12th, 2010 @ 5:56 pm
I am continually blown away by this group of people, and all that you have to share. I am so thankful for each reflection and each offering of concern and support each person gives.
As I read through each comment I make notes, and each one inspires a thought in me. I wish I could respond to each one, but I am afraid I would take up the whole “wall”!
I do have a personal experience to add. But first, a quote from Henri that is particularly relevant to our discussion:
“To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.
Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.” Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey
March 12th, 2010 @ 4:48 pm
This chapter has sparked a lot of contemplation & confession for me. I have a few notebook pages filled with reflections on Henri’s ideas but don’t seem to have much to offer in answer to this week’s questions. What I find in my responses to them seems to be cynical and resentful of what have been my experiences. Fellow readers & followers of Jesus, I confess that. I admit an honest longing for partnership in ministry. I wonder if I have set an inappropriate fleece of sorts in waiting for a like hearted ‘partner’ in the ways I desire to serve. (Parish Health Ministry…or…) I’ve taken next steps and know season of preparation is much more than curriculum attainment. (40 years has been shown an appropriate time I know…sigh). Christ formed in me is my true heart desire & I seek simplicity of living His love in all my moments.
The ideas presented about “us helping them” stirs much in me as someone in a helping service profession. Cindy, your post (#16) resonates with me. I too receive so much from those I work with. Though it is a work environment I have grown to discern when I can experience ‘mutuality’ through sharing my own story or offering to pray with someone as they receive their medical treatment. I’m curious about the “Emmaus community” you mentioned. Sounds like a place of support & encouragement for you. Katy,(# 3) I will pray for you. Susan,(#12) thank you for reminding me to “allow Grace”.
Something that is very, very important when we open up and share is that it is done in a way which doesn’t close off the person who has opened up with us. Remember we are seeking to connect with not supersede. For example how often people jump right in telling about THEIR experience with a certain circumstance or condition. That happens to me frequently (and OH how I confess that I have done it to others). I suppose people just want to show understanding but it seems they don’t understand how it cuts people off instead. The world truly does not have models for servant leadership. I just keep seeking to trust Jesus more. “It is Jesus who heals, not I; Jesus who speaks words of truth, not I; Jesus who is Lord, not I”
March 12th, 2010 @ 2:54 pm
To Patricia’s question, “Was Jesus a collaborative leader?” I believe that the answer is “Yes.” Jesus had a clear sense of his mission which I believe can be simply stated as this–to follow the will of his Father in heaven and to build up the kingdom of God on earth and for all eternity. And Jesus knew that he couldn’t do this alone. He had a limited amount of time that he would walk the earth and spread his message so he knew he needed others—collaborators—to achieve his mission.
Collaboration is very different from simply coordinating activities or working cooperatively. In the book Shared Minds, Michael Schrage says that “…collaboration is the process of shared creation: two or more individuals with complementary skills create a shared understanding…that none could have come to on their own… Something is there that wasn’t there before.” Isn’t this an accurate description of Jesus’ life on earth and his interaction with his disciples?
Think of the changes in Peter, James, and John from the time they were called by Jesus, to when they witnessed his transfiguration, and, finally, to their ministry after Jesus’ resurrection. They came to realize that they shared the same mission as Jesus—with one critical difference. Jesus, the Son of God, knew that for him to follow the will of the Father meant that he would suffer, die, and rise from the dead in order to redeem mankind while building up the kingdom of God. The apostles realized that their mission was to carry on the work of spreading the good news that mankind was redeemed through the love of Jesus and that the kingdom of God was at hand. Could they have come to this on their own? Hardly. Did they create something (in Jesus’ name and with the grace and power of the Holy Spirit) that wasn’t there before? Unquestionably—and what they helped create has lasted for two millennia. And they did these things not because they “had to” but because they freely chose to do so. They were true collaborators with the Lord. Jesus did not abandon them, just as he does not abandon us. He sent his Holy Spirit—the great collaborator.
Reading the posts from each of you, it is obvious that collaboration with the Lord to build up the kingdom of God is alive and well today in each of you. Wherever two or three are gathered in his name (and I think this probably includes in cyberspace) the Lord is present and “collaborating” with his people. Thanks to each of you for openness and sharing.
March 12th, 2010 @ 1:40 pm
Thank you all for your kind comments. They are encouraging and insightful. I will be seeing my friends again on Sunday night. I’ll be interested to see how it goes.
March 12th, 2010 @ 5:18 am
Thank you for all you share. It is a blessing to me.
I’m not sure I can bring a relevant contribution to this section since I haven’t been in ministry to others officially for a long time. So if it’s not relevant just appreciate that I’m well on my way into practicing irrelevance. : )
Since my husband and I were missionaries I understood us as being in ministry together even when I could not do all his work with him. Still we did raise our children together and visited people together, had guests together. For me my marriage is the best team experience of my life. We’ve backed each other up and encouraged each other. Together we have grown more than each of us by ourselves would have. We have learned through conflicts and through difficult situations. I’m very thankful for that. I believe that a healthy strong marriage is in some ways ministry without actually having the plan to minister to others. I am thankful that I did not have to walk this big part of my life journey without my companion.
I also had other experiences. For some years we worked with people from other cultural backgrounds, which was in some ways quite difficult. Had we had more preparation towards each other’s culture we wouldn’t have had so many misunderstandings, which in turn led to conflicts that took a lot of our strength. But in all that we learned as well. It was somewhat more painful but still worthwhile.
Confession was not so much done in any of the churches I’ve attended in the course of my life. But it is important to me. I often felt so guilty for things that weren’t even guilt that I had to unload. After the last few years I have a more objective view of what guilt really is and what it is not. It helps to be able to get rid of the things that make the soul heavy.
Blessings to you.
March 11th, 2010 @ 8:16 pm
Char (#2) - I really agree with your points on Listening. I believe Listening is a very important Life Skill, and needs to be put into practice in all areas of Life. I try to work on it all the time.
Katy (#3) - You have many good points with respect to working in pairs - it is definitely not easy - and I so agree that it takes humility and patience, and humility and patience, and humility and patience…..
Yes, Katy, when we bear our souls - confess our failings - even our sins of omissions. It is a risk to know our audience; but please do not be too hard on yourself for daring to speak your concerns. Sometimes we think we know our friends and co-workers - and for the most part we do - but sometimes we are thrown for a loop - through no fault of yours - or even of your friends. Your friends could have reacted out of fear. They identify with you when you are expressing uplifting and positive comments - but they do not know how to react when they see Katy express fears and concerns. Something of a; “if it can happen to Katy” - “what chance do I have??”, moment in time.
This can definitely scare people - and when we get scared what is one of our natural reactions?? We back away - pull back - and cannot be there for the ones we would normally be there for - in this case, for YOU, Katy.
Please be assured of my prayers that you may find a safe place to speak out - and you know what?? That safe place might actually be with one or more individuals from your original group! Now that they have probably stopped reeling from the fact that the Katy they know and love - has struggles with her faith just as they do. The result might be an even tighter bond than previous.
My prayers are with you,
Patricia
March 11th, 2010 @ 7:11 pm
Patricia, thank you for your comments and support. I too have been sitting with this portion of the book, for personal as well as work. It feels right, but the doing and living of it …. I suspect I shall be giving it to God in prayer daily and LISTENING for His guidance in the doing of ministry.
March 11th, 2010 @ 6:44 pm
I have often considered myself blessed to work with patients that have mental illness and addictions. Their struggles and turmoil have humbled me and reminded me that life is a gift. Entering into the suffering and struggling with them has allowed me to be more thankful, aware and sensitive to all people that I encounter. Listening to people, truly listening to people is a full body encounter. My youngest son taught me this in a way that has stuck with me for many years. He had and still has the knack for talking and talking. When he was young it was easy to do things and respond when he was talking but it wasn’t really giving him my full attention. He took my face and said “mom, you’re not listening with your eyes!” I immediately felt convicted and realized how important it is to listen and to allow others to be heard. I think that helping people in the settings that I have worked in has not been about giving them handouts but rather a handup. I have worked with people that have not seen their task as assisting people but rather to hold power over them. That is so hurtful to the patient but more importantly it robs them of the opportunity to enter into relationships that will teach them and change them. I truly believe my patients have taught me so much and from time to time I have had the opportunity to express that to them and they have been very touched by this.
The other comment I have is about leadership. I have been involved in an Emmaus community for about the last 13 years of my life. This is where I have found healing, forgiveness, and unconditional love. The spiritual leadership I have encountered has been very encouraging to me. They openly share their struggles and testimonies and give us permission to do the same. I have not found this example in any of the churches I have attended over time which is why I’m presently in the search for a new body.
I have enjoyed reading your postings and am greatful for your honesty and oppenness. I never ceased to be amazed of how God opens our hearts when we truly come together for his purpose.
Cindy
March 11th, 2010 @ 4:37 pm
Katy, I was touched also by your entry. The loneliness has touched me too at times within my church when I bare my soul. It’s curious but it often comes to me that sometimes people offering solutions is actually a defense against their own inhibitions of such honesty and vulnerability and, after a while, when everyone has had time to digest and reflect, actually everyone starts coming around to being a more genuine and authentic community as a result of someone “taking a risk”. Others become more risk takers too. I’m wondering if you are a leader and might perhaps find your close and supportive community exactly with the people who had such a harsh and hurtful and disappointing lack of understanding of your situation. What you shared has made me think, as well as what everyone is sharing on this blog. My own growing in discipline of confession has happened because we tried to start a “prayer evening” at our church. Sometimes other people come but usually it is just pastor and me. This has been going on for about 3 years. We start out with a time of sharing and then we pray together for about an hour. It’s amazing what has come of this experience. In the beginning my pastor shared that he desired marriage and family and felt some amount of loneliness being far away from his home in another state. Prayers have been lifted up all along and now he is being called to pastor a homeless shelter back in his home city but also a relationship has developed with a woman there too and it looks very much like this could all culminate in marriage for them. All the questions regarding the discipline of confession are running around in my mind and I do think this subject is of primary importance to our faith communities being healthy and integrated and able to invite others in to see and know Jesus.
March 11th, 2010 @ 2:10 pm
I am still challenged by what Nouwen asks us to do, as Ministers, in this portion of the book.
Don’t we all want - to some degree - to be Spectular? To get a little Recognition for what we do as we minister - no matter the field?
Then, does he ask us to confess that need to be spectacular, directly to the group we are ministering?
WOW!
I studied this book once before, through a training program in Faith Development Facilitation. It had a huge impact on me at the time, but in a way that I saw as less challenging than the impact it is having on me now.
It is almost an impossible task, and would take a leadership which was collaborative in nature; vs governed by concensus, or even a teaching model.
WAS Jesus a collaborative leader?? Did he want questions and discussion on what he was saying?? Or did he simply demand “Follow me” “Feed my Lambs” “Tend my sheep” “Feed my Sheep”.
To Luanne (#9), I applaud you for bringing your faith with you to your work outside the home. I did a very similar thing, for many years my main ministry was my job. Although they may not have known it, my department ran on biblical teachings, and on my own personal faith beliefs. When I lost that role (as happens in workplace situations) - I lost my main ministry - and not by my own choice. That was a diffcult path to then have to follow. I will pray you and your group will be rewarded with success - as it is definitely a rewarding ministry - and one you seldom see - I will pray for you, and send you much support.
Namaste,
Patricia
March 11th, 2010 @ 5:37 am
Have a great day Brynn, and thanks for giving us all your guidance and support!
Peace
March 10th, 2010 @ 11:45 pm
To me confession is being willing to admit my powerlessness in a situation; to recognize and admit/confess when I’m feeling hurt or angry or frustrated or scared or whatever; and to be willing to let it go/give it to God, to allow Grace. It isn’t as easy as it may sound to, for instance, give up anger when we’re righteously right; or give up hurt when we are; or admit fear when as a ‘good Christian’ we aren’t supposed to be.
If sin is ‘forgetting’, then confession is remembering that God/Divine Order is Greater than any situation; and wanting to trust that Grace will lift us out of whatever hell we’re in.
March 10th, 2010 @ 11:42 pm
It’s amazing how much this group shares in common!
I was reading last night that sending out two or three witnesses was a Mosaic Requirement as well. Dt 17:6, Nu 35:30. Jesus empowered the disciples two by two in the fight against the Satanic powers that assault truth, destroy fellowship, and life. Jesus was adament in the fact that all the disciples needed for the journey were their sandels and a staff.
This parallels Henri’s story in his transition from popularity to ministry in all that he prepared for really wasn’t needed for the real mission that Jesus set out for him.
A few years ago, I lead my small group (middle school boys) alone and decided when it got to be more than fifteen it was time to get another person. Having two people is so much better in getting youg men to talk about their lives, families, and struggles.
I’m happy that Henri did get all the education and experience before he started helping the handicapped, because not only have we benefitted from his books, so will thousands for many years to come.
You’re in my prayers!
March 10th, 2010 @ 10:00 pm
Sally (#5) I want to thank you for your beautiful reflection on confession. As someone that went through a difficult and life-changing journey that required me to be healed, I can completely understand the power of being “touched.”
I distinctly recall an instance when I accompanied my then 13 year old son to receive Holy Communion at a time when I was not receiving Eucharist. The priest “touched” me and said “God bless you.” His loving touch nearly brought me to tears. Fr. Andy was there as my friend and confessor when I was ready to change my life and he con-celebrated the Nuptial Mass when my wife and I were married in June 2008.
You ended with the question, “Why should we fear what can set us free?” For me this brought to mind what is written in 1 John 4:18-19 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” By his cross and resurrection, Jesus set us free. Jesus welcomes us home as the father welcomed the prodigal son home–not with punishment, but with love, joy and celebration.
Thank you again for your reflection.
March 10th, 2010 @ 6:56 pm
I was particularly moved by this chapter. I immediately wanted to go out and get the book for my staff and enlist the help of someone to guide a discussion with us on this. We (my staff and I) believe we were called to serve this organization and the people we care for- we see it as a ministry. To a certain extent it is mutual as we identify the people we serve not as patients but as members of our organization, but in many ways we it is still an “us helping them” mentality.
I am working through what this would like for us as an organization, small enough now to take the time to grow together and set things in place for when our numbers increase.
March 10th, 2010 @ 5:01 pm
I am feeling a little overwhelmed by this portion of Nouwen’s book, by the questions that have been posed, and by the responses given.
I hope to respond over the next day or two, but for now, I need to simple “Be” with Nouwen’s writing.
I am still here!
Patricia
March 10th, 2010 @ 4:09 pm
All very wise and helpful words, so generously shared. I appreciate the reminders to really listen to others. To acknowledge that each person has something to offer, and to allow them to share their strengths, thoughts, abilities. To always recognize that I have much to learn from people around me, including those I am “leading.”
I also appreciate the reminder to just listen when someone is sharing a struggle… to not try to fix it, to just listen. Be present. Katy, I do pray that you find that kind of friendship close by. I also pray that all of us would be able to grow in the ability to give that gift to others.
Finally I was touched by Sally’s reflection on confession as liberation. How often we walk around in the bondage of sin… not even really aware of it. Probably because our society wouldn’t even call it sin. But Christ asks us to come to him, to examine our hearts before him, to repent, and be liberated.
All beautiful reflections, thank you!
For others who may be reading, don’t feel like you have to answer all the questions, we’d love to hear from you, even your short thoughts.
March 10th, 2010 @ 3:55 pm
Dear Katy,
I had to respond to your post (#3)>>>
First, know that I just put you & your mom on my heart in prayer (and I pray dozens of times each day, almost like a mantra - “please take care of all the intentions of my heart”
It has been my experience that many well meaning people try to offer solace and just don’t “GET” that the powerlessness feeling that we possess while watching a loved one ill and trying the best we can to alleviate in any way we can, that usually feels like a useless venture — doesn’t have a solution — we just need to be understood and loved! I have a person that I can be totally honest with and I won’t tell you what I said three years ago, but I was baffled about how a loving God could allow this and my eyes came from the depth of my being and I was having direct eye contact. It was that eye contact and the words, “I assure you, things will get better”, that and knowing that many were praying for us kept me going in many a dark hour. Life remains the same but with the assurance that God walks next to us, in front of us, & behind us 24/7 - helps me keep going each day because often I question and even had the audacity to pray in arrogant ways with strong suggestions. Katy, God loves you and your mom although it feels like God has a strange way of showing it. I wish you all the best and one thing I learned is that there aren’t any answers in this life!
HUGS…
March 10th, 2010 @ 2:13 pm
In response to question 10:
Father Henri, in his beautiful book, Life of the Beloved, told us that the original Hebrew meaning of the word “to sin”, is “to forget”. When I read that, I was so moved. That is so deeply true. I think the reason so many people have so much trouble going to confession is that they have “forgotten”. They have forgotten how much Christ loves us. They are ashamed, and they are afraid that He will turn His eyes away from them in “disappointment” over their sin. But it is not so.
Christ tells us in Matthew’s Gospel (citing the beautiful 53rd chapter of Isaiah), “He took our sicknesses, and carried our diseases for us”. When He healed the leper, He did not simply wave His divine hand….He reached out and touched a man who probably hadn’t been touched in years. What must His loving touch meant to the poor, disfigured man! Then, Jesus took the man’s leprosy into Himself. That is what Love does. Love does not stand away from us, but touches us, and takes our weakness, our sin, our wounds into Himself. Jesus became a leper, and He became “blind”, and “deaf”. “He who knew no sin, became sin that we might become the goodness of God” (2 Cor. 5:20) As He hung upon the Cross, He whispered our name to Himself. Across time, He saw our face, and bearing our wounds in Himself, He died, that we might live. Our “leprosy” died with Him, as did our blindness, our deafness, our addictions, our selfishness, our loneliness…..all “passed away” so that we might rise with Him to new life.
Maybe, people wouldn’t be afraid to step into the confessional if they knew that it was not a tomb. It was not a place of shame, or of regret….but a place of liberation. It is the bridal chamber. We come with our sins, and our wounds, and He reaches out, and touching us, He takes them. He helps us to “remember” His love. United with Him, we are set free. He calls us to new life in Him. He “rolls away the stone” which has kept us entombed in the smallness of our dark, and grievous wounds.
In the confessional, the “bridal chamber”, He waits for us. He longs to take our wounds into Himself. He helps us not “to forget” His love. Why should we fear what can set us free?
March 9th, 2010 @ 9:34 pm
For me the essence of Henri Nouwen’s message in this section is captured in two sentences near the end of The Task: “Feed My Sheep.” Henri writes: “The mystery of ministry is that we have been chosen to make our own limited and very conditional love the gateway for the unlimited and unconditional love of God. Therefore, true ministry must be mutual… a whole new type of leadership is asked for in the church of tomorrow, a leadership that is not modeled on the power games of the world, but on the servant-leader Jesus, who came to give his life for the salvation of many.”
If we are to be the gateway for the love of God, we must first open our hearts to God’s love and then minister or “bring good news” to others in everything that we do. As St. Francis of Assisi is reputed to have said, “Preach the gospel always, if necessary use words.”
Which brings us to Brynn’s first question. Why minister in pairs? Jesus said, “…if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them.” (Matt 18: 19-20) By ministering in pairs, we are better able to discern the truth that God wants to bring to his people and the most effective way to present that truth in a way that it will be accepted and followed.
In my own experience (over 10 years) as a Confirmation small group leader, I am much more effective when I share my ideas with other leaders to obtain their feedback and, even more important, to allow the interaction with the teens in the group, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to move the discussion forward. And this year, for the first time, I was blessed to have a co-leader—my new wife (we have been married 20 months). My wife and I share a spiritual bond and commitment to the Lord that I have never experienced before. As a result, I now understand in a way that I could not have comprehended previously, the value of ministering in pairs. Dawn and I minister to each other, and as a result, our ministry in the Confirmation small group setting was enriched.
Henri Nouwen discusses ministry in his book “Spiritual Direction—Wisdom for the Long Walk” where he writes: “All followers of Jesus are called to ministry. That’s the whole concept of the Christian church: we are the body of Christ. Each one of us is a member with special gifts to share. Jesus’s mission on earth was to call a community together and empower them for ministry in the world. Jesus said, “When I go, I will send my spirit, and my spirit will empower you. All things that Father told me, I’m telling you. All the things I am doing, you will also do, even greater things than I.”
Jesus called a community to ministry—and then he sent them out in pairs. We should do likewise.
I have a reflection on servant leadership based on a paper I wrote several years ago that I will save for another post.
God bless.
March 9th, 2010 @ 6:54 pm
Why do you think Jesus so clearly commands us to minister in pairs?
I think I’ve learned this in hindsight. I work mostly alone with high school girls, and I do have a coworker but he works mainly with the high school guys. I think Jesus commands us to minister in pairs because I’ve found it to be incredibly taxing to do this by myself. I’m burned out from it after 2 yrs and attempting to recover, but the problem still exists, I’m still by myself.
It’s hard though because Nouwen is so right when he talks about how we are taught to do this as individuals. So I think if I were to have someone come in and help, I could easily get jealous and competitive. This leads me to believe that ministering in pairs is a lot about teaching ME (humility, love, patience) more than it is about teaching the teens I work with.
Is the discipline of confession and forgiveness “alive and well” in my personal life? In your church?
In my life, confession to the Lord is alive and well especially during Lent, but as for confession in my church/open confession to my brothers/sisters, I’m not sure I’ve found a safe community in which I can be honest. I think when I have tried to confess I get a “fix it” attitude from my peers. I recently confessed having a hard time grasping God’s goodness amidst pain and suffering of my mom who is sick. And my group immediately had responses and what seemed to them to be solutions. I know they were well intended, but the words were harsh. It just makes me shy away from saying anything else.
I do have friends I can call who are out of town, but if you could pray I would be able to find friends nearby who would listen well and empathize and be compassionate, that would be greatly appreciated.
March 9th, 2010 @ 9:56 am
This week I’ll take the questions one at a time and try to share my experiences.
#1 By ministerinig in pairs you have the support of another as well as the perspective of another.
#2 When working in pairs or small groups it is always important to be quiet and listen. I’ve done several projects where I have been paired up with another and we always begin by taking time to get to know each other and LISTENING to the stories of the other. Those stories are so rich in what they have to say. Much as in this discussion group, we learn so much by reading each other’s stories/comments.
#4 Even when I am mentoring young people, the first thing I need to do is to tell a personal story, something that they can connect with. Recently a young man was sharing that he was picked on in school because his Spanish family name was ‘flower’ in English. I shared with him that I could relate to that because my full name is Charmaine (the whole Charmin toilet paper thing!) and that as I was going to high school, class mates would toilet paper my locker & put the picture from a packet of toilet paper on my locker! We connected!! We have had a VERY rewarding mentoring relationship from that.
#5 I think of a community breakfast that a group of people do at my church. A need was seen, a group got together, as we went through a list of responsibilities various team members volunteered for various areas of responsibilities and from this group project we continue to stay in touch and work together - the group is VERY diverse from many different dominations and no one has let their ego get in the way - in fact, egos are checked at the door when you come in.
#6 Those that come and enjoy this free breakfast are amazing at the friendly setting. A free breakfast is served to ALL that come in and is served family style using fine china and silverware. It is a family to those receiving and to those giving.
#7-9 When we are able to give forgiveness and ask for forgiveness, we admit that we are all part of a family that functions together. Listening again, pops up in my mind because we need to learn to know each other, and welcome each other as we are into the family (whether the church family, a community project family, or our family with God). He knows us, our failings and he still welcomes us.
#10 Listening keeps coming into my mind. When we TRULY listen to another, a church member, a neighbor, or even our pastor we might discover a connection, we can share our own personal hurts, sins, troubles, and we can listen as those are shared with us. As we confess those transgressions, we know that God is listening and God is offering us his forgiveness. What a healing awareness comes over us.
Blessings to all this week!
March 8th, 2010 @ 7:59 am
My son just made his confirmation–the idea of ministry is so important! Stressing that doing things close to home is important..not so much the earthquake relief…