Monday Feb 22, 2010: Prologue and Introduction
Readings: Prologue and Introduction
I am excited to begin the discussion of the book itself. The prologue and introduction, even put together is a short bit of reading. But as I sat with the material, I found there is much to think about. Below I have put some small reflections, but mostly I have put forth questions. I would like to hear from each of you! Again, don’t be afraid to share from your personal experience. In many ways the most “humble” examples can be the most instructive. Also, don’t feel like you have to answer all or any of these questions. Share what was significant to you! I’d also like to encourage you to respond to each other’s reflections.
In the introduction, Henri describes a dark time in his life. A time when externally everything was good, but internally his soul was in danger.
Questions:
1) How did he know his soul was in danger? What did he pray?
2) Why do you think the move to L’Arche was so effective in reversing this dark path he was on?
3) Can you identify with this experience?
In reflecting on how to articulate lessons of Christian leadership Henri decides to be true to his own heart, to “trust that God is at work in me and that the way I am being moved… is part of a larger movement.”
1) When/how can we trust that God is at work in us in this way? What promises from Scripture give us insight into this?
In the prologue Henri describes the beginning of a ministry in which he shares the stage with mentally and physically handicapped men and woman.
1) How is this contrary to what our society teaches a strong leader should be?
2) Can you share a similar experience of when you gave up some of your leadership “control” in order for someone “unpredictable” to minister with you?
3) Can you share an experience when someone invited you to join their ministry even though you were “unpredictable” or simply “unpolished”?
36 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>
March 1st, 2010 @ 9:52 am
I too am amazed by the honesty and depth to our conversation. Thank you Amy for sharing with us in such a difficult time for you. I trust and believe that God is as close to you as ever, and will walk through this dark night with you. He will never leave you. I also appreciate the fact that even though you are walking through this dark time, you still encouraged the rest of us from the Word. It is comforting to know that others walk through such dark times as well, and that Christ is the light that brings them forth. So thanks for your honesty, it is not in vain.
And with that I would like to invite everyone to move the conversation up to the next post, which is Mon March 1: From Relevance to Prayer. Click on the word “Home” at the top of this page, and you will see the link at the very top.
February 28th, 2010 @ 6:03 pm
Hello all,
I have enjoyed reading the posts and appreciate the profound insight people are bringing to this discussion. For me, I feel led to talk about what I believe Henri must have experienced when he recognized his own “dark place” before joining the L’Arche Community. I could relate to Henri’s comment about midlife as I am quickly approaching my 40th birthday, which has given me pause for reflection. And, like, Henri, I am still coming through my own time in a dark place, battling a difficult situation in my job. Here is what I wrote in my journal on one of my most challenging days:
“I am in what can best be called a ‘dark night of the soul’. Everything is dark and cold, and my insides feel empty. I’m not sure how it happened, other than to say it has been a steady decline over months, felt more in the last few weeks as the coming winter strips the trees of their leaves and the sun hides more behind a thick quilt of clouds…So here I am, sitting in a Panera Bread, lying about going to a seminar so the people at work will not know I am breaking apart, pulling strips of crust off the top of a spinach soufflé – did I mention I don’t like spinach? But the cashier gave me the wrong one and I don’t have the energy to exchange it – so I sit here and pick off the top and wonder when I’m going to feel like going back to my life…What will lift this veil over my head, to let in the air and light again? Maybe I need to quit hoping life will change and accept what can be found that is good and pure in each day. On a day like today, maybe it is those give minutes of music, the cathartic feel of my pen scratching the page, the pat of Tom’s [my husband’s] hand against the small of my back, a flash of my daughter’s uneven front teeth bared in a broad smile. Maybe the whole of life stinks, except for those moments, and if we become caretakers of the small joys, God will trust us with the bigger ones. Maybe pain is dished out according to your tensile strength, and because I am stiff necked and proud, my portion is greater. Or maybe life is just life, with good days and bad and many more in the middle that flutter by without a second look if you let them. Whatever it is, I pray for peace for my heart and mind and solace for the journey…So I found at the library Thomas Moore’s book, ‘Dark Nights of the Soul.’ He says, ‘A dark night may appear, paradoxically as a way to return to living. It pares down life to its essentials and helps you get a new start.’”
All that said, I am reminded of the Scripture in 2 Corinthians that says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Henri came to understand this verse quite well at L’Arche, and my heart is being refined to understand it now through my current trials. For those of us that are being downsized, rebuilding relationships, aching for a deeper walk with Christ, or feeling as though we are in a dark place, though we may not know why or how we ended up here, it is enough to know that God will give us His grace and power in our weakness.
February 28th, 2010 @ 5:39 pm
I am overwhelmed by the depth of honesty and sharing from the heart here. Thank you for the encouragement because in several of them I see myself and it helps. Please know that I do keep this group in prayer as I think of you. During the reading of discernement etc., I said indivudal prayers to the Holy Spirit. Thanks for the Thomas Merton prayer and all the sharings. It is amazing how reading others faith journey’s helps me on mine. (This post is to follow Moderator request of 2/25). Also, I see that this book must be a compilation of other books because much of the contents sounds family to someone who has walked with Nouwen for the past 25 years.
Wishing you all a blessed week as we all walk together as “Companions on the Journey”…. ROSE
February 28th, 2010 @ 7:38 am
Brynn–Thanks so much for sharing the Bible passages. Sometimes, I think, we get so caught up in trying to “get it all right” that we forget the joy, peace, and care that God has for us. Really, that’s probably the best part about Henri’s writing: he constantly reminds me that I am God’s beloved–so I can calm down and live a life of faith
Blessings, Deborah
February 27th, 2010 @ 11:29 am
This comment was posted on Feb 26th in last weeks discussion, but it was meant for this week. I am re-posting it for her so you can all read it:
From Judy Smith:
“‘We are doing this together’ is what our life is all about. It is such a comfort that the Holy Spirit gives us each other to journey through this life. I also love the words Jesus gives us ‘Do not worry about tomorrow, Tomorrow will take care of itself’. We know we can complete our mission if we take one day at a time.
To Shawn #32: You are in my thoughts and prayers always. AJ”
February 27th, 2010 @ 11:22 am
Thank you again, to each of you who has shared so personally. I do appreciate each post, and feel like I want to respond with a paragraph to everyone!
Here are a few scripture verses that have been important to me lately, and I think are very relevant to what many of us are thinking about these days:
Psalm 91:1-2 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.”
Psalm 94:19 “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”
Isaiah 26:3-4 “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.”
Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”
Phil 4:4-7 ” Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
I hope you all have some time to be in the presence of God this weekend.
Brynn
February 27th, 2010 @ 11:05 am
Michelle,
I just wanted to say thanks for your post on the 25th. I am so glad you shared that little bit with us. I hope and trust that this time of low energy will be a time to rest and be in the presence of God. Please feel free to continue to let us know you are a part of this discussion, even if you don’t add reflections per se. I thank you for sharing the scripture verses as well.
Brynn
February 26th, 2010 @ 8:11 pm
I like the idea of us praying for each other. I mentioned I’m in the middle of possible transition. I want to be specific so you can be praying specifics for me, esp my fears. I’m in ministry with high school students but praying about going overseas. Possibly Haiti. My fears: leaving staff with my current organization. making a bad decision or an emotional one. money. leaving friends. making new friends. leaving family. pain of saying goodbye. fear of feeling the nudge from the spirit to go and not going. leaving students whom i dearly love. not being emotionally, physically ready. not being accepted by the missions organization to be part of the team.
The excitement is there and the nudge, too, but fear is ever present. Thank you for praying.
February 26th, 2010 @ 2:27 pm
To Mirjam: Thank you so much for sharing your discernment.
I know that I struggle with my need for affirmation and acceptance from others; acceptance that Henri Nouwen gently reminds us in much of his writing that we really don’t need because we are already God’s beloved.
Here is a good example from Beloved–Henri Nouwen in Conversation:
“If you are busy, very busy, ask yourself, ‘Why am I so busy?’ Perhaps you want to prove something. The problem is that your identity is hooked up with busyness: ‘I am what I do; I am what people say about me; I am what I have; I am what influence I have.’ It’s very real for me, it’s real for everybody. If we say that we are the success of our work, it becomes true.
“Jesus had three temptations in the desert:… Jesus refused all that because he didn’t have to prove to anybody he was loveable. He was already the beloved. That’s precisely what the Spirit revealed to him after he was baptized in the Jordan. The voice came and said, ‘You are my beloved son, on you my favor rests.’ That’s who you are; you are the beloved, so you don’t have to be busy proving it. ”
Nouwen is addressing that final sentence to each of us. We are God’s beloved; we are already accepted and affirmed.
And I know that I am often like young Luke Skywalker after Yoda teaches him about the force–”I don’t believe it.” To which Yoda sadly but patiently responds, “That is why you fail.”
Fortunately, our God is a loving, affirming, and forgiving God. We are his beloved, whether we believe it or not, and he welcomes us home whenever we choose to return.
Have a blessed weekend.
February 26th, 2010 @ 11:43 am
Yes, Brynn I can share a little about my discerning process. It began in Kenya where we lived as missionaries. We had just been there for 8 months when I got sick. My illness lasted some years and not everyone understood what I could not do. So there were expectations and I couldn’t meet them. The devastation over the inability to meet expectations I felt was so immense that I started wondering about it. When I had met expectations was it really my intention to see people happy? I was a bit shocked when I found out that I mainly wanted to serve myself. I needed to meet expectations so I would get acceptance, attention and praise from people. It took me many years to understand what I was doing there and to work on learning new patterns. The knowledge of God’s acceptance and love was only in my head not in my heart. So I asked God to root the knowledge of his love deep into my heart and was hoping he would just do it in one day… like a Dentist who can pull a tooth quickly. But what God did was taking me by my hand and started on a journey. The journey led away from the knowledge of my head towards the things in my heart – wrong impressions of God, patterns I lived based on lies. I understand now that I couldn’t have made that journey in one day or even in one year. It is working with God in the garden of my soul.
To Ray: Thank you for the prayer of Merton.
February 26th, 2010 @ 9:29 am
Henri Nouwen’s life story does touch me profoundly. I have pondered his introduction in the book, that he experienced a deep inner threat, prayed poorly, was living somewhat isolated from other people, was very much preoccupied with burning issues, evidently constantly on the move to the next burning issue. Very restless. A scriptural passage which became very important to me is Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD.” I went through my own period of deep inner threat, praying poorly, being isolated from other people, very restless and constantly on the move from one burning issue to another. In my case, the diagnoses was not burnout but mental illness. But, when I came through this very, very painful time, I also felt and still feel the call to respond to the needs of people who have trouble expressing themselves, particularly the very elderly with their health afflictions. I can be now just more “present” with someone, not needing to talk at all and that peace is growing in me. That break in my life from rational and logical discourse, was actually a spiritual blessing because it freed me up to be in relationship with God’s children in a much deeper and more connected way. It has helped me to feel much closer to the God Who moves in Isaiah 55:8. Don’t know how many people actually write their life’s pilgrim journey as Henri Nouwen does but his thinking and his values and his discerning of spiritual truth definitely does resonate with me and I look forward to reading more and more of his writings and not just this current book.
February 26th, 2010 @ 9:21 am
Good Morning!
Thank you, Ray, for sharing the Thomas Merton prayer. It is one that has been a blessing in my life, too. And one that I have let go by the wayside.
It seems all of us struggle with knowing if we are truly hearing God’s voice in our lives. On multiple levels, we dealing with this in our home. The last several years due to some real upheaval in my life I have wondered if I wanted to remain in the Church–and if so, who really is God? My twin daughters (18 years today) are struggling with direction for their lives as they prepare to leave home. My pastor-husband and I question the direction our parish should take (and we have only been here since August–so we are still new).
The Merton prayer helps me remember that I won’t always KNOW–something I really, really want in my life! But I know WHO is there with me and I know WHOSE I am.
The Voice does come, and not always in the way we expect. Over and over again I remind my daughters: Follow your dreams with all your heart, but don’t hold them so tightly that you don’t recognize the crossroads in your lives, and thus don’t have the freedom to move into new dreams.
Praying for us all–Peace & Joy, Deborah
February 26th, 2010 @ 7:16 am
I’ve come to these discussion groups before ~ and there was a clear voice telling me to take the time to visit the discussion this morning. I did and I was blessed with a clear vision of what I needed to do. I also have been ‘downsized’. As I have studied and worked to find where I need to be, I have also listened. Two evenings ago I reconnected with a dear friend that I had not been in touch with for 7+ years. We talked about faith….something we NEVER touched on in the previous 20 years of friendship and we both came away refreshed and blessed. I am interviewing for a position in Christian leadership and felt I might not be qualified — but as I read this discussion this morning…I remembered that it is important to share the ‘load’ and God will make it lighter. I now look forward to what I feel is where I need to go and I ask for prayers for everyone here who has felt they could share their thoughts and stories. This truly is a global community that we are all a part of.
February 25th, 2010 @ 10:34 pm
Brynn asked if I would be willing to share a little more about the discernment process I was involved with when I said God’s voice is often heard in the voice of someone we already know. This is difficult to do without getting too personal. Suffice it to say that in 2004 I was involved in a sinful relationship that was unhealthy for me and was damaging my relationship with my five children. It was an extraordinarily stressful time in my life and I knew that I was at a crossroads (again) about whether or not to end this relationship. In hindsight, it should have been an easy decision. Of course, it was not.
I was blessed to have met a wonderful Christian counselor that shared my journey through this dark time in my life and I am convinced that I heard God speaking in her voice (or email). I will admit that I often did not immediately act on what I heard. It took time. Here is just a sampling of what she shared.
–“Life is a process and sometimes you just have to go through the process, as rough as it is, in order to get to the other side. In painful life processes, you will come to understand the 23rd Psalm – the idea of walking through the valley of the shadow of death. I guess the big comfort there is although it feels like you are going to die from the pain – it’s really only the shadow of death. Fortunately – it’s kind of like being in the middle of the ocean and drowning- God throws you a life ring – you have to be willing to grab the life ring God throws. It may not be the one you want or look the way you think it should look, but it’s the one God knows will work best for you. I guess that’s where the faith comes in.”
–“You need to stand up for yourself and your needs and your need for self-respect and restoration of your self-respect as a dad.”
–“No amount of talking will make this easier or make anyone feel better. What do you need? What do your kids need? What does God want you to do? What are your principles? What are your values? Are you living in concert with your principles and values – if you are not, you will feel dissonance and stress.”
It was nearly a year later that I finally decided to finally end the relationship. It ended within days after my then-21 year-old daughter asked, “When are you going to stop hurting your kids, Dad?” It was the right question. But I knew her question could also have been, “When are you going to stop hurting yourself, Dad.” Her words were another example, a very powerful example, of hearing God’s voice in the voice of someone I knew. There are many other examples.
Listen for the voice of God in the silence of your heart and in the voices of those around you.
February 25th, 2010 @ 8:59 pm
Thanks Julie, for some very real ways to keep our eyes turned to Jesus in the midst of everyday life.
And thanks everyone!
As Phillip said, let’s keep this group, and our discussion, in prayer.
For those of you who are just reading the comments… that is okay, but why not let us know you are with us. Just a quick hello!
More reflections welcome, of course.
Brynn
February 25th, 2010 @ 8:45 pm
Thoughts on the Battle of Fear and Anxiety
Like Katy, I have felt the excitement and, for me, the peace of allowing the Spirit to work in me in times of stress and challenge. But like Katy, the fear often quickly returns to me. I want to control the outcome. I can’t. I become afraid. The fear is something I understand so I hand onto the fear and my need to control. God calls on us to trust him. It’s hard.
In Turn My Mourning into Dancing, Henri Nouwen uses trapeze artists as a metaphor for this connection between fear and control. He writes, “I am constantly moved by the courage of my circus friends. At each performance they trust that their flight will end with their hands sliding into the secure grip of a partner. They also know that only the release of the secure bar allows them to move on with arcing grace to the next. Before they can be caught, they must let go. They must brave the emptiness of space.” They must conquer their fear–they must trust. Nouwen continues, “Living with this kind of willingness to let go is one of the greatest challenges we face… The great paradox is that in letting go, we receive. We find safety in unexpected places of risk.” And later in the book Nouwen writes, The word so often translated faith in the New Testament comes from an ancient word that literally means “trust.” Faith is the deep confidence that God is good and that God’s goodness somehow triumphs.”
This image of the trapeze artists has sustained me in difficult times. Before we can be caught (by God) we must let go (of ourselves and our entanglements). But that “letting go” can be frightening. And it is fair to say that the trapeze artists didn’t get it right the first (or second, or third…) time. The love of God is the safety net below us as we learn to let go and we fall. But if we have hope in the future, our faith will lead us to try again.
There is a prayer by Thomas Merton that has also been very important to me when I have felt fearful and uncertain. I carry it with me (it’s an electronic note in my Blackberry) and pull it out from time to time. Perhaps it will touch someone as it has touched me.
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
-Thomas Merton
February 25th, 2010 @ 6:07 pm
I have been spending some time each day reflecting on the questions (and you are right Brynn - there is so much more there than first appears!) and writing out the thoughts that come to me. I am not doing so well health-wise this week and am having trouble articulating myself so, rather than not share at all I thought I would be honest about what is going on for me right now and trust that that is enough for now. I am focussing on scripture verses “Be still, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10 and “Do not be afraid for I am with you…” Isaiah 41:10. and finding that helpful. I hope to be able to share more in the coming days. Thank-you to everyone else for your sharing, I am really enjoying your comments.
February 25th, 2010 @ 2:32 pm
I very much like this discussion community- wish we could be face to face as many of the comments resonate with me (smile & nod). Henri’s questions of trusting God at work in him as he was moved to a very different place of ministry & lifestyle helps me to see that on the Journey with God no matter what our success or position God never leaves us: that is not only that His presence is WITH us but ALSO that He doesn’t leave us AS we are. I was moved to leave my leadership role in the Care Ministry of my church as I was puzzled and disappointed in the lack of support/ commitment/ response of the Leadership/ Administration. I relate to what Cindy shared about the Bible study ‘outside the church walls’. What I expected to be my ministry & what I was ‘trained’ in was different than how God moved me to care for people and love like Jesus ‘outside the church walls’. I have to frequently ask myself how am I trusting God to work in me in lots of situations. One scripture promise I hold is II Cor. 9:8 ‘And God is able to make all grace about toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” God’s Grace. When I experience the fear and anxiety Brynn addressed I try to identify how it is showing itself: am I gripping for control on others or a situation (usually with my family) or am I withdrawing in any number of (creative) ways? I try to stop & watch/ listen to what the Holy Spirit may want me to hear instead. it may just be seeing a cross on a church along my driving commute or a reminder of a strain from the daily compline which I have heard many times but didn’t ‘catch’ before. (eg. satisfy me early Oh Lord with Thy mercy…) I also hear Jesus’ promises to be at work in us and with us through the voice of a spiritual sister listening & sharing with me. Considering Henri’s words and move to an unexpected way of leadership in serving at Daybreak Community reveals to me how vastly different this is to what leadership is considered to be in society and in the Church. I need to pray that I be careful not to judge those who don’t ‘get this’.
February 24th, 2010 @ 10:50 pm
Good stuff!
I am adding you to my prayer list and ask that you do the same for me.
It’s hard to break habits alone that can be road blocks in the way of true healing in becoming who we are created to be.
Replacing bad habits with healthy ones can bring clarity in decision making in the process of following and leading others.
I know I can hear much better when there is nothing to hide from God alone. Your Honesty is very powerful to me, and I appreciate your wisdom and thoughtful comments.
Good Night!
February 24th, 2010 @ 8:38 pm
The phrase from this reading that resonates with me is,” I began to ask whether my lack of contemplative prayer, my loneliness, and my constantly changing involvement in what seemed most urgent were signs that the Spirit was gradually being supressed.” I am a journaler and I recently looked over some of my old journals. I was able to see where God has led me before when I was allowing him to be in control. Henri uses this word as have other entries in this stream. It seems as though hanging onto control really leads to a lack of control. Katy’s comments about getting close to God’s love and the fear sets in is true for me as well. I have relinquished the control before and have experienced the love of Christ very powerfully. It is living in the moment of his love that I struggle with.
One experience of giving up control of leadership that has resonated with me was in the leading of a bible study. I had approached the pastor of my church about leading a study that wasn’t material from the Methodist church. He didn’t approve of using the material so I didn’t pursue it at the church building any longer. God opened another door and used the study to minister to a disabled church member who ended up having her only daughter get killed during the study. We ended up having the study at her home and she really ministered to us through the process. I have always wondered if I had pursued the study at the church building instead of yielding to the Spirit if the outcome would have been the same.
February 24th, 2010 @ 5:49 pm
In the preface Henri reduces the question about pastorate in the future to his own thinking and doing of the moment. He trusts on the action of God’s Spirit and rests in the words of Jesus not to worry about tomorrow.
I think it is good to take over this attitude. Let the thoughts about pastorate in the future comes to me and influences me in a trustful relationship. I hope these contemplations lead to a better discernment of my internal movements. I know my sensibilities and how sensitive I am for disturbances.
My concern with people and christian community is not without resistance. It is good to trust on God and, as Henri writes in the introduction,to trust that I am being led internally to a new place. That belongs to a much greater movement and involves people around me.
I recognize in my life, the downward mobility that drove Henri, but I am not ready now to formulate identifications and experiences in this respect. Perhaps after further reading.
February 24th, 2010 @ 5:39 pm
So many great comments, full of wisdom and truth!
First of all, Katy, I appreciate the truth of your comment. “The moment I think I am and feel the excitement of listening, being nudged, and allowing myself to be loved by God, the fear sets in.” I really don’t know how to overcome that fear, such that it stops setting in. I suppose all I know is that I need to move ahead with the nudging and excitement, and trust God to conquer the fear.
Is there anyone who can give more insight into this battle with fear and anxiety?
Ray and Mirjam, you both had great insights to share. They obviously have come out of personal experience. IF you feel comfortable, could you describe that experience a little bit? I think it could be a great source of encouragement to others.
Ray you say “And for me (especially in the past few years) as it was for Henri, God’s voice is often heard in voice of someone we already know.”
Mirjam you say “To this I can only relate in that I had to give up the shoes that I was wanting to fill but that weren’t mine.”
Without being too personal, perhaps you could share about these discernment processes in your life?
February 24th, 2010 @ 3:18 pm
Love all the comments and what sticks with me and may have been expressed, is Nouwen asked and above all, was obedient to the will of the Father!
“Lord, show me ……..
God bless you all, even if you didn’t sneeze!
February 24th, 2010 @ 10:01 am
In his prologue, Henri Nouwen describes his calling to the much different world at Daybreak. Through his experience, I realize that often I hear God most clearly in unlikely places and through unlikely people, and only after I free myself from the clutter of my secular ideas as to what it truly means to be a leader.
February 24th, 2010 @ 7:25 am
It’s so encouraging to read all you have to share. Thank you.
What I found so amazing was that although Henri was having success and was popular he was willing to listen to the voice inside and actually do something about it. I believe when we’re raised to meet people’s expectations to be strong and to bless and share knowledge that become the shoes we’re trying to fill. Henri was willing to listen to God and changed the audience of students, priests and others to an audience of handicapped people where he wasn’t asked to fill shoes but to be the person he was. Through that Henri could come closer to his own heart and so find out where it needed healing.
To this I can only relate in that I had to give up the shoes that I was wanting to fill but that weren’t mine. That meant saying no to people, to learn to listen to the voice inside me and move towards the pain of my life and work through it step by step.
Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would be with us, that he and the Father will reside with those who believe in him and that he’ll be with us to the end of this time. I believe that is true. But I do believe that I don’t need to have the trust and faith for all my life today. But as I begin with one thing to entrust it to God and follow his voice and find that he is true to his word experience comes to experience and my trust and faith are growing.
When Henri moved to live with the handicapped he didn’t do what society would expect from a strong leader. Society would rather expect a strong leader to invest in young and promising people who will then be a blessing to the world. I believe there is nothing wrong with that. But when Henri moved to the handicapped he received so much and found so much healing. By that he proved that strength and healing is not necessarily found by the strong and healthy. He proved that God can use whom he wants to heal and give. That is the principle we find in 1.Cor. 12:9 where God says to Paul: My power works best in your weakness.
Blessings
Mirjam
February 23rd, 2010 @ 10:04 pm
Two comments spoke to me and and I think they can be related to Christian leadership–leadership under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
In the Prologue, Henri Nouwen writes, “God is a God of the present and reveals to those willing to listen carefully… the steps they are to take toward the future.” And in the Introduction he writes, “In the person of Jean Vanier… God said…” Nouwen said the call was so clear he had no choice but to follow.
So simple, yet so profound. We need to listen carefully to God in the “still small voice” or the “tiny whispering sound” (1 Kings 19:12). We need to open our hearts to God’s call. And for me (especially in the past few years) as it was for Henri, God’s voice is often heard in voice of someone we already know.
To hear that voice and to act on it, especially if it is saying important or difficult things that require me to change, means that I must be willing to give up control, to listen to God speaking through others, and to trust in God. The “leader” must be willing to be “led.”
That was certainly the case several years ago at the end of a sinful relationship and, more recently and much more positively, when my new wife encouraged me to open myself to her charismatic spirituality practices in addition to my traditional Catholic practices. In addition, I was seeking an active Christian community life–something I had longed for but was unable to find. And when we found it, the community was quite different than anything I had ever been involved with. By the power of the Spirit acting through the person of my wife, we are building our blended family and are active members of a Catholic Charismatic community–joyous additions to our life together. But it did require that I be open to change, to challenge my own comfort zones, and to trust in God.
Let me end by sharing a a modification of The Jesus Prayer that I say often during the day–especially in times of stress. “Lord Jesus Christ, be with me today and always.” It is both a petition and an expression of gratitude that God is always in my present, if only I will acknowledge his presence.
February 23rd, 2010 @ 5:56 pm
Phillip,
Thanks so much for sharing from your personal experience. I can so identify with the feelings behind that story! It is encouraging to hear how everything turned out… that the Spirit of God worked in your weakness and brought good things to fruition.
Brynn
February 23rd, 2010 @ 5:51 pm
So many great comments!
Paul, yes for sure, true leadership is by very nature means sharing leadership. I was referring to the art of giving up “control” in leadership. Our society strongly emphasizes that a leader should always be in control of every situation. But when you invite others to minister with you, you have to relinquish some of that highly prized control. It can be a vulnerable experience, but most often a beautiful one. Can you share more about your work in Peru, and how you shared leadership with others there?
As a personal example, I worked as a teacher for a number of years at a small international school. We found the kids were often getting into fights, and therefore trouble, about this or that (not a big surprise). We worked with the whole elementary and middle school (total of about 40 students) on conflict resolution and mediation. One grade six student was particularly perceptive with people, and he also held respect of the other students. I began to involve him in the conflict resolution/ mediation process with other students. I had to give up some control over the process. He kinda awkwardly stepped into the role, but it was amazing to see what he had to offer.
Anyone else have experiences to share?
Brynn
February 23rd, 2010 @ 2:58 pm
Hi all! I had similar thoughts to Jen on this reading. There seems to be an inverse relationship between our “place in the world” and the state of our souls, especially when we are need of spiritual healing. Henri is saying the same thing here as Jesus says in the Beatitudes–life works in opposites with God.
I was also struck by the fact that Henri didn’t enter his new life as superior to or better than those he went to live with–he may have been a priest from an intellectual setting, but he was first of all a brother in Christ with his new friends. I love the emphasis both in the beginning and the end of the book that Henri and Bill “did it together,” and they did! I think this inverse way of living and the humility it creates in the heart is what makes living in the moment possible.
Finally, the question Henri asks himself, “Did becoming older bring me closer to Jesus?” When I first read the book several years ago, this question haunted me. I think reading it again it will give me more food for soul searching this Lent.
Peace and Joy, Deborah
February 23rd, 2010 @ 6:21 am
Curtis, I love your attitude and your listening in the moment! Something good is going to be available to you soon.
A few years ago, our church got a new senior pastor and soon after he arrived, he ask me if I would be the spiritual formation chair for the next year. Not to disappointment him and not knowing anything about what it entailed, I said yes!
My first assignment was to gather all adult Sunday school teachers for a meeting to discuss ways to increase SS attendance. What was I going to say to the thirty plus lay leaders of our church who have seen this position filled many times before me.
During my little introduction speech you could have heard a cricket sneeze. Our associate pastor who was over that ministry at the time helped me and together we survived. Looking back, I was ill equipped and it was over my head.
However, I realize now that it’s OK not to know everything because that’s when the Spirit steps in, where and when we are weak. Saying yes, opened my heart to the blessing and love from many people who are now part of a large family that are loved and love me back through the Christ we share.
“Don’t be afraid,” “Do you Love me,”
and “Feed my sheep!”
February 22nd, 2010 @ 10:03 pm
I apologize to the group as I did not introduce myself last week, but I would very much like to join the group. Very quickly, I am a Catholic high school administrator in the Midwest. I am very new to my job, but at least we are measuring my experience in months rather than weeks now. I would like to take this Lenten journey with all of you because I find many challenges in remaining centered and whole while attending the many needs of the students and faculty and the extraordinary number of everyday details.
I am struck by the entry of Curtis. I too find that the “best remedy” for many challenges is to be completely present to the moment - to find God in that moment and respond to the needs of others at that moment - and to place my worries in God’s hands.
There is such joy in each moment that we share with another. Thanks for the reminder to slow down - and to really see each of the students and the faculty members.
February 22nd, 2010 @ 9:24 pm
My favorite part of the reading for this week was this: “Go and live among the poor in spirit, and they will heal you.” . . . So I moved from Harvard to L’Arche, from the best and the brightest, wanting to rule the world, to men and women who had few or no words and were considered, at best, marginal to the needs of our society.
I think it is beautiful that God’s plan for healing involved taking Henri away from a place of success, power, and all the things that would be externally affirming, and placing him among all people and things that would never be recognized as having any real value by the world. I think this may be one of the things I most love about God, that he chooses to use the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, the weak things of the world to shame the strong, the lowly and despised things of this world and the things that are not, to bring to nothing the things that are.
I am also challenged by Henri’s willingness to see and admit the dark and dangerous place his soul was in and to seek out what he needed for healing. He was willing to give up the success he was enjoying for the sake of his soul. This seems like a no-brainer, yet there are so many stories of people today and throughout history who believed the success and following they had attained in the world were too valuable to relinquish and were unwilling to look foolish or to let their brokenness be known by others. It would be my hope that after 25 years of successful ministry, should God give me that, I would still be as concerned–and maybe more concerned–with my relationship with God and the state of my soul as I hope I am now.
February 22nd, 2010 @ 8:53 pm
Like Curtis, I am in a transition period. Here’s what it looks like..
In response to question 1, Nouwen realized he was growing distant-praying poorly and isolating himself from others. I noticed this about myself also in the past 6 months. I was dying a spiritual death, slowly.
For several months the Spirit has been nudging me to do something similar to what Nouwen did by going to L’Arche. For me too, Curtis, this Lenten journey is about my time of praying and fasting with open hands, like you quoted, “listening carefully to the moment”.
It has been a struggle to not worry about the details, to focus on today and that not everything has to be polished or set in to play immediately and perfectly in this time of transition.
And I think I’m really beginning to almost grasp “abundantly”, too, Brynn. I dunno. The moment I think I am and feel the excitement of listening, being nudged, and allowing myself to be loved by God, the fear sets in.
February 22nd, 2010 @ 8:29 pm
Thanks for the comment Curtis,
I really appreciate you sharing about this transition in your life. I like your positive outlook on the adventure ahead. I can also really understand how there must be fear and worry mixed in with it all.
The art of living fully in the moment is something that God has been trying to teach me for a while, and I am sure will need a while longer to teach me. But I am starting to get it. It is so easy to get caught up in worry about tomorrow, and lose the moment. In this case we lose the opportunity to really listen to someone, to really love someone, to really enjoy the gift God is giving us right now.
“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or “What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:31-34
“I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:9-10
It is very encouraging to know that Jesus came so that we may have life abundantly in him. Abundantly! It must therefore be possible!
February 22nd, 2010 @ 6:41 pm
Just on the last point. I didn’t consider it was “giving up” leadership but sharing it. I worked in Peru. Sharing the leadership with God’s people, forming the people of God together, became the inspiration of my spiritual life.
February 22nd, 2010 @ 12:12 pm
What a blessing it is to reflect on this book at this transition time in my life, and to be doubly-blessed by all of your comments.
As I mentioned in my post in the first week, I am being “downsized” out of my job after 21+ years with this organization. I am eager and excited to see what will unfold in the future, but there is also a lot of worry and fear.
I was particularly struck by this passage in the prologue: “I also came to see that I should not worry about tomorrow, next week, next year, or the next century. The more willing I was to look honestly at what I was thinking and saying and doing NOW, the more easily I would come into touch with the movement of God’s Spirit in me, leading me to the future. God is a God of the present and reveals to those who are willing to listen carefully to the moment in which they live the steps they are to take toward the future.”
So during this Lenten journey, and this time of transition I hear the call to “listen carefully to the moment” rather than worry and stress about the future.