Week Four: Thursday, October 22: Asking (p. 22-25)
It is difficult to read Chapter 4 without asking the question: “Why (for most people) is asking for money so hard?” Or, for some people, the question might be “Why is asking, ‘easy for me’ but so hard for others?”
Given the range of experiences we all bring to the table, this should be an interesting discussion—so jump in! I would be particularly interested in hearing from those of you who have overcome “ask anxiety”. How did you do it? What words of wisdom do you have to share?
- Henry
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October 26th, 2009 @ 8:50 am
Whoops! I inadvertantly attributed Sharon’s comment to Jaree. Sorry, Sharon!
October 26th, 2009 @ 8:49 am
1) I find it hard to ask. However, I can tell someone what I am passionate about and why. The more I can tell why something matters and how it is God’s work, I think it will continue to become easier.
2) I am sure that there are personality differences that make a factor into this as well. I am an introvert. I don’t mind writing a letter or proposal to ask for money. I find it harder to ask people face-to-face.
3) Jaree- Your comment “Maybe people feel I am a person who just wants to grab all the generosity to myself or something” really struck a chord with me. I think I need to ponder that some.
4) Henry - I missed getting to contribute a comment last week. It was a topic that takes lots of pondering for me. Can I go back and add a comment now, even thought, the week is over?
October 25th, 2009 @ 4:30 pm
Jaree–You raise a very interesting question regarding when (or how)those participating in the blog came to find that fundraising was a “calling” rather than simply a career? I would assume you will find that each of us brings a wide variety of perspectives–and experiences–to how we answer such a question.
October 24th, 2009 @ 12:09 pm
Char and Henry, I appreciate reading your entries. After reading Henri Nouwen so far, my need is to overcome ask anxiety. Right at the start of the chapter, I see my discomfort with money and desire to be “free from money.” Further on the statement “Rather, we put the person in a defensive position because he or she realizes that there is some kind of competition going on.” This is the first time someone has exposed me to how possibly other people feel either when I do get up the courage to ask for money or else when I just assume they won’t want to give any and I just put my own cash into the cause I am working for. Maybe people feel I am a person who just wants to grab all the generosity to myself or something, maybe they feel the money concerns that bind me instead of my freedom from money. Especially the last sentence in the chapter “God’s Kingdom is the place of abundance where every generous act overflows its original bounds and becomes part of the unbounded grace of God at work in the world” is especially wonderful to read. In our community, we have a Community Farm. A little less than an acre. Volunteers from all over grow food to give to a local agency to be distributed to food insecure people. These kind of gardens are becoming very numerous in our area of Michigan. For me, working in this Farm is very liberating because it is so clear that God is growing and making luxurious the beautiful vegetables, fruits and herbs. There is no mistaking that God’s Kingdom is the place of abundance and, while keeping the needs of all people in mind–rich and poor–it does seem like every generous act, giving and receiving, does constantly overflow its original bounds and becomes part of the unbounded grace of God at work in the world. I can more easily see the Kingdom in the reality of the Farm and am having trouble seeing it in something more monetary but man the last thing I would ever want to do is to “not giving the person the means to become a brother or sister” (bottom of page 23) so am just lifting up prayers of thanksgiving for all the help here of sensitizing us for living more faithfully in God’s Kingdom and loving our neighbors.
October 24th, 2009 @ 9:18 am
Personally, I feel that I still have traces of “ask anxiety” and it is something that I’m trying to overcome. Henri’s thoughts on people who are rich helps those of us who only see the insecurities within ourselves to recognize that even people who seem to have material success are sometimes in the same position. Building the relationship to feel comfortable with asking is key to the fundraising process. For those of you with a great deal of experience in this area, when you first started out as a sales person, fundraiser etc. What were some of the memorable moments in your career where you realized “asking” was your calling? Or your career choice as Henri says became “Spiritual”?
October 24th, 2009 @ 1:44 am
Char–What a thoughtful comment. I have never connected (as you do so well), my childhood experience and my ability to “ask” as a fundraiser. I also appreciate your last comment regarding the fact that, often, the donor is one of the most important “beneficiaries” of the act of giving.
Thank you for getting the conversation started!
October 23rd, 2009 @ 6:58 am
If we reflect back to our childhood, weren’t many us using ‘fund raising’ techniques or becoming mini-sales people as we worked to acquire a desired result or item from our parents. I now can listen to my grandchildren do the say thing, telling me if I do ‘x’, the recipient (usually them) acquires the ‘y’ benefit. As we grew up, the objections put up, and the rejection or ‘failure’ made the task of ‘asking’ less pleasurable.
But I always enjoyed that challenge and still do. Over 30 years of sales gave me many positive traits that make going to fund raising an easy transition – and, I must say a MUCH more rewarding calling. As I reflect on the various projects as a volunteer and professional that I have worked on, the people I have met and continue to interact with have been a large part of my reward.
I must admit as a child the motivation was the reward for me personally, as a commissioned sales person the reward might have been the financial reward, but more likely was helping a client overcome a problem. Now as a fund raiser, the reward for me is the lives I can help impact – and that VERY often is the donor who I have invited to be a part of the solution to a social problem. The pleasure I see when putting donor in touch with a ’cause’ or ‘project’ is indeed much more than the financial benefit.