Part One: Chapter 1 - From Loneliness to L’Arche
Suggestion: read the book with a journal or writing pad near by.
Save some time for quiet and reflection
1. What struck me about Henri Nouwen’s story of discovering L’Arche was that after the visit of Jan Rise and after the phone call with Jean Vanier, he had an inner feeling that “something important was happening”. Can you recall times in your life where you had that inner feeling that something significant was happening? Does anything about Practice #1: Attentive to the “signs” (p 11) stand out for you in light of your own experience?
2. After “Listening” on (p 9) where did you find yourself located as a guest in the painting, “The Return of the Prodigal Son”? Did you hear anything?
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September 10th, 2009 @ 10:49 am
Hi JC,
You might wish to sign up for the free, daily eLetters that are drawn from Henri Nouwen’s “Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith” to get a good sampling of his writing. There are several entries in the month of January on forgiveness (24th to 28th), as well as May 19th. Henri focuses his reflections on Jesus in the entries from May 20th to June 6th. You can sign up for these reflections from our website: www.HenriNouwen.org.
You might also wish to look at “The Return of the Prodigal Son” and “Home Tonight: Further Reflections on the Parable of the Prodigal Son”.
“Seeds of Hope: A Henri Nouwen Reader” might also be a good place to start if you are looking for specific themes. All books by and about Henri Nouwen can be found on our website in the bibliography section and in our shopcart. Please feel free to email me at mwright@nouwen.net if you have further questions.
Blessings,
Maureen
Resource Coordinator
Henri Nouwen Society
September 9th, 2009 @ 10:29 pm
Hi,
I’m enjoying reading through all your comments. I’m just wondering though did Henri ever talk much about Christ and the cross or sin and forgiveness? What did he believe about those things?
May 12th, 2009 @ 2:23 pm
I WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU FOR THE SHARING ABOUT HEARING THE FATHER’S HEARTBEAT — (I HOPE I CAME BACK TO THE CORRECT SECTION TO RESPOND).
I’VE TRIED TO DO CONTEMPLATIVE FOR YEARS BUT THE MANTRA DOESN’T WORK SO YESTERDAY I TRIED IMAGINING THE PAINTING IN MY MIND AND STARTING BREATHING TO THE BEAT OF THE FATHER’S HEARTBEAT AND IMAGINING MYSELF IN HIS EMBRACE….. IT WAS SO WONDERFUL — I DON’T KNOW IF I FELL ASLEEP OR WHAT BUT IT WAS A VERY LONG TIME LATER THAT THE DOORBELL RANG WHICH BROUGHT ME OUT OF IT — I FELT LIKE I WAS ON A DRUG BEFORE A SURGERY THAT NOTHING BOTHERED ME AS I WAS SO CALM. WHOMEVER YOU WERE AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT PRICELESS HELP AND I STILL FEEL THAT PEACE TODAY. IT WAS GOD SAYING THAT NOW I HAVE THE PEACE THE WORLD CAN NOT GIVE ME AND TO STOP EXPECTING IT, EVEN FROM THOSE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO.
IF WE WEREN’T AN ONLINE SHARING BUT IN PERSON, WE WOULD BE SITTING AROUND THE TABLE FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT WITH ALL THE DEPTH EVERYONE IS BRINGING TO ONE ANOTHER. SORRY FOR CAPS BUT TOOK CONTACTS OUT AND FORGOT GLASSES! GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
May 11th, 2009 @ 6:41 pm
Hello everyone:
My life has been a little overwhelming lately and I’ve been feeling very disconnected, restless, unbalanced. Henri-and this community-helps so much and despite feeling “out of it” spiritually speaking, I am grateful to be able to take a few minutes with all of you. I love this painting and this beautiful book. Kim, thanks for leading our thoughts and guiding us through the richness of this book. Yes…I agree Rose that there appears to be more here than meets the eye ! I truly wish my life were a little less crazy right now so that I could delve a little deeper.
I did manage to set aside time to place myself inside the portrait as Henri suggested. I found that I was sitting next to the figure that I think is the older son. He is standing apart from the younger son and father and appears disapproving, or at the very least, apathetic. In my meditation I sit beside him so that I don’t have to look at him. I cannot see his face unless I look up. (I don’t want to deal with him…I’m a classic conflict-avoider and that comes out even in this meditation!). My eyes are transfixed on the younger son and father. They look peace-filled and happy. I am happy for them and it feels good and right. I do not want to look at-or think about-the older son. I am slightly uneasy at his side but also pity him as well. The woman in the background (mother?)quietly weeps with joy and my eyes fill up too. The younger son sighs with relief. These are the only sounds……it is a holy silence.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you at L’Arche as you mourn the loss of your dear friend.
Peace to you all
Diane
May 9th, 2009 @ 4:57 pm
Hi,
I recall having the experience of feeling that something important was going on when I was still in Manitoba as a young teacher. I knew somehow that it wasn’t my place even though I liked to teach. I prayed alot, removed t.v. and radio for a few weeks, talked to my parish priest. I then realized that I needed to go elsewhere. When I came upon a leaflet describing the Jesuit Volunteer Program of Canada, I knew that this was for me. So I left everything in Manitoba (my family, friends, job, house) and came to Toronto. These signs were simple, persistent, seemingly impossible and included others.
The second question: I placed myself facing the Father and a bit to the right of the Prodigal Son. I didn’t hear a thing. I merely saw both of them with tears in their eyes. I then saw me in the place of the Prodigal Son with my Mother in the place of the Father. It was very healing since my Mother and I have never had a close relationship.
May 7th, 2009 @ 9:26 am
I wanted to let you know that we have just uploaded a very exciting feature on our website: excerpts from a talk Henri Nouwen gave on the parable of the prodigal son. I think you’ll find it very moving to hear his voice as he reflects on his spiritual homecoming. This talk, which took place prior to his writing of “The Return of the Prodigal Son” inspired “Home Tonight” and I think we are all discovering that the reflections in “Home Tonight” are much more personal than his first book on the parable. To listen to Henri Nouwen, please go to:http://www.henrinouwen.org/home/mediapanel/hometonight.php
We would appreciate your feedback on the video presentation.
Blessings,
Maureen
May 7th, 2009 @ 8:40 am
Hello everyone,
Thank you so much for your condolences. It means a lot and I will be sure to pass along your thoughts and prayers to the Daybreak community.
Blessings,
Maureen
May 7th, 2009 @ 6:53 am
Thank you, Bill, remembering you and keeping in my thoughts and prayers now all who grieve. Mostly we are unknowing of all who impact upon our lives, upon the lives of people who influence us on this faith journey in this world, we are thankful and the circle of home grows ever wider and wider.
May 7th, 2009 @ 6:15 am
On page 8 “home” might mean something other than what my heart craved and my flesh desired. I was under the illusion that home was the pure experience of warmth, intimacy, and affection…..” In this sentence, Henri Nouwen gives me much to think about. In the painting I am the invisible bystander longing to be the father, my eyes looking lovingly–truly, deeply, genuinely lovingly on my child, my hands around her/him with tenderness and compassion, holding her/him secure and “at home”, longing to be the father wondering how one “gets to that place of being an offerer of home” to others whom I want to feel so loved, so secure, so in a good place to be. Page 12, 4 characteristics, simple not complicated, persistent, seemingly impossible, and always about others as well as ourselves. The journey Henri takes and has written about is one I think I need to take. I love to read “religious books”, have a whole bunch of them, there is a search for home in this bookish theology, but it has not satisfied, instead it seems to distance me from others. I’ll be very, very interested to read the rest of “Home Tonight”, see more of Henri’s journey, his insights into relationships. There is still time for me to be a wiser mother, a wiser spouse, a wiser friend, a wiser member of my congregation, a wiser follower of Jesus, just plain simpler and wiser. Thank you Henri Nouwen, thank you community. You are also in my thoughts and prayers.
May 7th, 2009 @ 12:15 am
W I T H D E E P E S T S Y M P A T H Y
To Maureen and all the members of L’Arche Community:
I am so sorry for your great loss! Yes, I remember Bill from around 1993 upstate NY. Bill was a big guy physically with a gentle way as I recall from our very brief meeting when Henri introduced him. Actually he was a riot and really “got me” —- one of the jokes was (and sorry if I’m mistaken, because it has been awhile)….”what is a turkey in suspense”? As I made an inquiring face and shrugged he said, “I’ll tell you tomorrow”! - it took me a second to catch on and then I remember roaring and have used it as an ice breaker often. Also, I remember Henri saying what a tremendous support it was having Bill’s companionship as he traveled so much.
May the soul of Bill rest in peace - AMEN!!!
FOR SOME CONSOLATION: As you think about all the people who are sad on this shore and filled the church with tears yesterday– just picture ALL on the other shore — all the people whom Bill loved, including Henri, and all those who loved him greeting him and carrying him to the arms of Jesus! Isn’t that a beautiful image? — now to make all of you in mourning to smile a second — don’t you wonder what he said to Jesus first? Whatever it was, we know JESUS SMILED & WELCOMED HIM WITH JOY! Thank God for L’Arche because your community gave him a beautiful life for forty years and you were a blessing to each other! My condolences.
May 6th, 2009 @ 8:42 pm
Welcome Liz and Attila!
I’m glad you mentioned the light in the painting Attila, the light and shadows do help guide the viewer and Henri Nouwen also encourages us to pay attention to it. I’ll go back to the painting with the image you shared of being “illuminated” by the light.
Liz, what a rich and meaningful life you are living. Can you say more about your journalling experience and how through the journalling workshop you realized you were being called to something else? What were the signs?
I personally found Henri’s characteristics of the ’signs’ to be very interesting…they are usually…
1. simple,not complicated
2. persistant
3. seemingly impossible
4. always about others as well as ourselves
It sounds like some of these characteristics might have fit with your experiences Liz & Attila.
Rose, I would agree with you - the book is much more than what it appears to be - which one of us mentioned that it was a unique book? It’s more like a retreat than merely a ‘read’ isn’t it?
Please take a quick look at the description of a PARABLE I put up on the first page - I think that Henri’s workshops help tease us into actively engaging our lives with this parable…it can go deep. Keep in mind that we, as readers, can choose to what depths we will plunge…
Peace,
Kim
May 6th, 2009 @ 4:05 pm
Hi all!
Rose, I appreciated your comments about the mother in all of this. I started wondering about her too. Is she that shadowy woman in the background of the painting? And what would her take be on all this? It seems that we are all really part of a web of relationships like our relationship circles reveal.
As I sat in the painting and meditated on the parable, I had a profoundly gentle take on the whole thing. I could hear two audible sounds: the Father’s heart beating as the son presses his head against his Father’s breast; and the son’s now gentle breathing as he realizes he is home and he is safe. I “heard” two inaudible sounds as well: love and acceptance. It was almost like time stopped for all those in the parable and the painting as the Father’s love embraces all.
Peace–Deborah
PS–Thank you, Maureen, for sharing about Bill. The Daybreak community is in my prayers.
May 6th, 2009 @ 7:56 am
While working as an Executive Secretary and Admiistrative Asst. at a university in San Francisco, I realized that I was being called to “right livelihood” as I participated in an Ira Progoff Intensive Journal Workshop, and I recognized signs of need to “walk my walk.” I resigned from my position at the university and began work at Home for the Aged, Little Sisters of the Poor, caring for elderly needing my love and attention — bathing, dressing, feeding. I became certified for Home Health Care and combined that with quality control at a local hospital. Providing in-home care brought me great blessing as I related to clients and their families, sharing God’s Love. I had found my vocation by following “signs.”
Employment in health work eventually brought me to a position in Human Resources at the same hospital where I had been born in S.F. It was from that position that I retired, and after which I continued in volunteer work for adults with dementia and Alzheimer’s, as well as serving as “foster grandparent” with kindergarteners in a local school. Life has been rich in opportunity to serve and to love, and it continues to bring me great joy as I volunteer for gratefulness.org and relate to Internet friends far and near. I feel that I am in touch with the whole world, God’s world! And that is a good feeling. For this opportunity to go deeply into Henri’s beautiful book I am so grateful.
May 6th, 2009 @ 7:35 am
Hello everyone, I would like to ask for your prayers for the L’Arche Daybreak community as they mourn the death of Bill Van Buren. Bill died on May 1st at the age of 56. He was a founding member of Daybreak, the first core member to join the community, at the tender age of 16. When Henri Nouwen came to Daybreak in 1996 to serve as pastor, he became very good friends with Bill. They travelled together extensively giving retreats and Henri always said that it was Bill that the people remembered. Bill had incredible gifts of humour and laughter and shared them generously. Bill’s funeral was yesterday, a beautiful and moving celebration of his rich and fruitful life. The Daybreak community is in deep mourning but so very grateful for his life.
- Maureen
May 6th, 2009 @ 6:57 am
To be honest, most of the time when I thought something “important” might be happening, I turned out to be wrong. When I look back, I realize that was because I wanted something important to be happening. The lesson I had to learn time and time was NOT that something important was happening, but that I had to be patient, and wait, and wait, and learn to let life happen — to realize I am not in control.
May 5th, 2009 @ 10:45 pm
Hello,
I apologize for my late arrival but I am keen to join this discussion group. My name is Attila, a husband, parent, technician by profession, church musician and active parish member. A brief comment on the first discussion topic is that interestingly enough, my inner circle has always seemed to revolve around God. From this circle are the other circles consisting of my wife and children, parents, siblings, friends, fellow parishioners, co-workers, and social causes. But like a pebble dropped in a pond, the circles all emanate from that one point which is God. How I interact with the other circles has always been affected, guided, or a reaction to that primary circle that is with God.
Significant signs or incidents have had a profound affect on how I learn to live with those around me. One of those occasions, was a start of the year school assembly of the all-boys Catholic high school I attended. The assembly was held in the Cathedral across the street. After a brief prayer service, our school director, who was a priest, stood up at the ambo and proceeded to explain to us that we are all called to be “men for others” (remember it was an all boys school). I sensed at that time that these words were important and they have indeed resonated with me to this day.
With regards to listening to the painting, I can picture myself as the guest standing next to the father and son embracing, my face being illuminated by the light that shines from the love of the father for the son, and the son for the father. The look on the guest’s face seems to me to be one of understanding. An understanding of the son’s total need for the father’s love, and the father’s unconditional love for the son.
May 5th, 2009 @ 10:27 pm
Hi again, I’m responding to #2,
I found myself seated on the right side of the picture, just beyond the border of the carpet, facing the son, but in line with the gentleman wearing the black cap. The older son (just to my right) is very quiet except for the tense tap of his waling stick on the floor once and a while.
By putting myself in the scene (it wasn’t easy to do this on the subway ride), I am finding myself to be a “bystander”. The man in the background with the cap is muttering about the scandal of it all (to me, he seems to represent my rational side). The younger son coughs from time to time, aside from this he is quiet. It seems as if the Father and young son are in a zone all to themselves. I don’t feel as if I am in that zone, although as a bystander I am touched by the love of the Father for the son. I am also a bit wistful, to be able to love like that would be really great!
It brings me a quiet comfort and a desire to rest like that in God’s hands knowing that I am loved and cherished…not thinking…simply resting and receiving the love offered…
Kim
Hey Ed, I noticed that some of my reflection seems to be similar to your observations about ‘importance’ from the Introduction. In my family there was also some emphasis placed on ‘being important’.
May 5th, 2009 @ 10:22 pm
I can “hear” the older son’s constant complaints to his mother about the father being a stupid old man for being nice after the way he was treated and his mother telling him “get over yourself, you’ve made your share of mistakes yourself young man, get inside and celebrate your brother’s safe return; your father and I have been sick for years with worry that something didn’t eat him alive; he isn’t dead and we are estatic. Don’t you dare take this joy from us with your sibling rivalry; get in there and put a smile on your face whether you like it or not and when you see your brother you better welcome him home or else, and remember, but for the grace of God go you”! Then she interrupted the welcoming embrace and told the younger son, “your brother has been doing the work for two all these years, you should go in there and show him some gratitude. After all, he put his life on hold because of you” She then turned to the father and said, “if you’re making a toast, I’ll be angry and disappointed if you don’t make it to both of our sons. Why not just make the toast to all our friends who supported us through this ordeal”.
(my reflection after that is personal and thus I have a lot of personal work to do)
I just wish I didn’t have to be an invisible guest because now I have a lot to say to the mom that has arrived in my meditation. By the way, I notice alot of the above does have “voices from the past” as mentioned by Henri in the introduction.
Kim, This is a lot more intense than I ever imagined!Is anyone else finding this book much heavier than it first appears?