Week One, starting April 27: Introduction and Prologue
Prologue
1. On page xiv Henri Nouwen offers us this invitation: “I urge you not to walk into this story alone, just in your own name. Rather enter into the story in solidarity with all your brothers and sisters in the human family on earth”
In order to enter into this story well, Henri Nouwen encourages us to name others to bring along with us.He says, “Call them around you, identify yourself with them, and let your thinking be deeply one with them as you journey into this story”.
Who will you bring into this story? Spend a few minutes thinking prayerfully about this question. Pick up a pen and draw a circle (with you in the centre). Among your family members who will you bring into this story (place them somewhere on the circle). Please remember Henri’s suggestion to choose people among those who are alive and those who have died.
Draw an outer second circle around this first circle of family members. This time indicate the friends,acquaintances, business associates, neighbours that you would bring with you into this story. Widening the circle, draw a third outer circle and include in this one all of the people and world issues that you allow into your heart (i.e.. people with HIV/aids, the homeless, the earth etc)…
What did you notice about this process? Were some circles harder to fill out than others?
2. Henri Nouwen speaks about two voices that have dominated his life since he was very young:
“Make it in the world and be sure you can do it on your own” & “Whatever you do for the rest of your life, even if it’s not very important, be sure you hold on to the love of Jesus”.
What are some of the voices or words that have dominated your life? Can you share one or two of them?
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May 6th, 2009 @ 9:25 pm
Hi,
This past week-end has been an important one for me. I’ve been finding out, through the help of my therapist, that the feelings that I have of being voiceless, that I don’t matter, are deep within me from things that happened in my childhood in relationship with my mother. And this has been affecting my relationship with my wife. On Friday, I did an exercise with the help of my therapist to regain my “lost” voice. Then on Sunday morning, I read the parable. Once again, I identified with the elder son so much. But this time, I felt I needed to talk to my mother. In all of my life, I’ve never really talked to my mother. I’ve never been able to let her know what is truly happening. I’ve always felt that she wasn’t wise enough or that she would blabber it to other people or that she would use it against me later on. I had also judged her for some of the things she had done (sound like the elder brother…) So I phoned her right then and there. I just felt drawn to that. And I talked to her. I talked to her for the very first time. I asked for her forgiveness. She forgave me. I told her how and why I could never talk to her before. She said she understood and that it was o.k. She knew that I was talking to my sister. She said that sons sometimes talk to their sisters instead of their mothers and it’s o.k. Then I told her that my wife and I were seeing a therapist because we were going through some rough patches. And she shared some of her own rough patches with my Dad who passed away when I was very young. I was just very thankful for this real conversation. It was a blessing. A burden has been lifted from my shoulders.
May 5th, 2009 @ 10:02 pm
Hi there,
Thanks for these insights and searching reflections.
Two of you mentioned PARABLE and so I wanted to share with you one of my favorite descriptions of parable by C.H. Dodd
“At its simplest the parable is a metaphor or a simile drawn from nature or common life, arresting the hearer by its vividness or its strangeness, and leaving the mind in sufficient doubt about its precise application in order to tease it into active thought”
After reading some of your responses, I think that Luke’s parable is doing just that as we engage each other with our thoughts. I look forward to further exploring the parable with you!
Kim
May 4th, 2009 @ 10:42 am
Deborah, I especially want to thank you for your insight. Actually, I just cut and pasted your reflection (minus all names), and pasted onto a blank e-mail and was able to print it for further reflection for myself. You said a lot of what I know is for me from God that I NEED to hear and retain!
made them out of LOVE & CARE)….
Thank you!!! I just started to read the first chapter and will print up our reflection too to make for easy reference since I don’t have computer access all the times I am able to read. Have a Peacefilled week all. (Sharon, what a beautiful insight — as I look at all the handmade items on people’s laps in the nursing home, I have to remember that someone at sometime — a brother or sister in Christ (probably a sister
May 4th, 2009 @ 7:29 am
What a timely book, I have been searching for that place to call home in these past months. I have found that the place that I called home is now no longer big enough. I have been in a chaplaincy program for 6 months, and am realizing that the space I have called home for so long, is now insufficient. The story of the prodigal son has stirred up some painful things and you can’t help but to bring others along, they are part of the story.
cheryl
May 4th, 2009 @ 7:09 am
I’ve been taught it’s important to be important. If not that, then it’s certainly wonderful to be important. Taught at school, church, work, everywhere. Henri says otherwise, and I struggle with truly internalizing the radical, countercultural message. Henri actually says we should surrender to the idea that we are beloved by the Beloved and that should be enough. For me, going home is a long journey toward living as is “being important” drops off any list of what’s important.
May 3rd, 2009 @ 8:05 pm
Hi all! Finally got the book and read the reading!
Rose–I liked your suggestion about the younger son feeling invisible. It helps me remember (while I too remember that this is a parable) that we don’t know why this son made the request he did and then left home. Jesus just doesn’t tell us. Parables do not have to be devoid of details just because they are parables. (We know he fed pea pods to the pigs!) If the “why” is left out here, there must be a reason. Perhaps it helps make this younger son more of an “everyone” and “anyone” type of person.
As far as the circles go–I didn’t have too much trouble filling mine. The biggest problem was what to do about the people in my life who have profoundly wounded me. On the one hand, these people are part of my “baggage” as a person. On the other hand, some of them are a part of the past that I need to move past because I have addressed the pain and the issues they were part of. They need to be left in the “far country” of my life while I still acknowledge them as people who need love and prayer. In the end, I put these people on the outside of my circles as a reminder both of my moving on from the hurtful places they created in my life and as a reminder of my ongoing responsibility to pray for them.
I grow up with under the shadow of being told that Jesus didn’t love me when I did something my parents didn’t like. Ouch! Major pain there. However, for some reason I also somehow knew that I didn’t need to be afraid of the ultimate things in life–like death–because of Jesus. This last one is a mystery to me. I didn’t grow up in a church-going home, and it is certainly not something I remember my parents teaching me. But it has been a very strong conviction for me for as long as I can remember. Obviously too–these two ideas are at opposite ends of the spectrum!
Peace and Joy in Jesus, Deborah
May 3rd, 2009 @ 6:48 am
We have a community that prayerfully knits/crochets rectangles and then crochets/whip stitches them together to make afghans, wheelchair lap robes, baby blankets and gives them to people we are concerned about. I like to think that even the things that cover our bodies can make us feel more “at home”. For me, it seems like when I am knitting these rectangles, in the quiet and just repetitiously following the knitting pattern, I feel more of a sense of being home with God. Maybe it’s kind of zen-like. The praying and knitting/crochetting that is being done in our homes we hope covers others in their homes and helps to bring realization of God’s love and how we are all really knitted together as family.
May 2nd, 2009 @ 9:18 pm
Update after several more hours of reflection:
FOR ME —- HOME IS THE STATE OF ULTIMATE PEACE & TRANQUILITY WITHIN MYSELF–
This can only be achieved by me “in the present moment”. Havoc can prevail around me but if I stop and visually reconnect my heart to the heart of JESUS* -in my belief but Jesus name could be replaced with “Higher Power” etc; I am so at home!
I’m now asking myself why it sounds so simple and when I am graced to “BE here”, it feels great - so why do I often live in the dumpster of shoulda, coulda, woulda, onlyif, someday, eventually, poor me ETC….so often? When I do that I am trying to come home but have my map upside down and wonder why home is getting further away and I’m getting more hopelessly lost.
Kim - how about a forth outer-circle to include all of us? Looking forward to reading more sharings and getting our new reflection. In re-reading the story for the 5th time, with a clear mind as if I never heard the story before, I replayed the visions with my own family and could picture the fireworks coming out of my mouth and ears if I was the elder brother. I really can see the fur fly!! Then I stopped and thought with compassion and thought that maybe the reason the younger asked for the inheritance was that he felt like excess baggage in the family and might have been the invisible (dead) son, so decided to return that treatment by asking for the inheritance early and just leaving to try to find some kind of “home” of peace, acceptance and love. While he was gone, the father took some time to reflect on his absence to his son (even when they were living on the same farm) and each month the son was away, the father’s awareness became more visible and with it some guilt. Thus when he saw his son returning from far away, he didn’t care how far he strayed, he was just overjoyed that he was given another chance to show his love for that son too and his running out was his way of apology and humility. Maybe that is why the comment to the older son, “all that I have has always been yours”, as the elder used to inherit all. The elder son was probably angry all along that another was getting what was rightfully his based on the laws that governed the land.
Here I go rambling again as I forget it is a PARABLE….I hope this helps someone because I have had to work overtime with this because I have been personally working on “home” stuff for several years now. Remember the expression “Home is where the Heart is”….oh so true! HAPPY MONTH OF MAY TO ALL. - - - Rose
May 2nd, 2009 @ 4:43 pm
Great questions Kim! I did end up reading “The Return of the Prodigal Son” first and have fallen in love with this painting. The copy of “Home Tonight” that I also ordered came with a card that had a reproduction of the painting and it revealed even greater details than the cover on the book…so, thank you Nouwen Society!
I have just returned from a retreat day at my favorite Benedictine Monastery where the retreat leader read some Henri quotes. “My guru!” I shouted when she mentioned his name, and it gave me a blessed opportunity to share my love for Henri with all these wonderful spirit-filled people. (Many of them, of course, were already familiar with him). Anyway…after coming home, Henri’s quote “I urge you not to walk into the story alone, just in your own name….enter into solidarity with all your brothers and sisters in the human family on earth” took on special meaning for me. Sometimes I am tempted to feel uniquely alone in my spiritual journey because I think no one else could possibly relate to my thoughts, feelings, struggles. This is why Henri’s writing–and this Nouwen Society cyber-community–have been so healing for me. Yet….this particular retreat gave me a new awareness of the solidarity(that is a perfect word for it)I share with all of those who are seeking to walk with God. I met these people for the first time and do not know if God will ever bring us together again, but I feel a very special connection to them and they have all become a part of my “circle”. I will gratefully bring them with me on this journey. In addition, my heart as of late has been hurting for those who go hungry. I feel deeply the call of Jesus to feed the hungry and have been trying to find ways to heed that call. These are among the souls that I will bring with me on this journey with all of you.
Much peace
Diane
April 30th, 2009 @ 3:33 pm
Bitsy, it will be great if you can join us. Hope to hear from you soon.
Rose, your observation about “Home” being kind of like an existential place (not actually a physical place) is very intriguing and is what I think Henri Nouwen is encouraging us to reflect on. What do other people think about “Home” being a state of giving/receiving love or as Rose mentions, simply being alone in the presence of God? Have any of you found “Homes” of this kind?
Kim
April 30th, 2009 @ 3:13 pm
The voice which was dominating my life was an implied voice. It seemed to come from all around me, or was it a scared voice from within me. Hard to say. My parents came from two different faith traditions. Truth to tell, this was all 60 years ago, when ecumenical relationships were very different. Anyway, there was a lot of mistrust from both sides of the extended family and mainly I heard a “voice” from somewhere that people just didn’t “talk about things.” Keep silent. Try to live peaceably. Doesn’t always work well that way. God himself helped me to hear Him and be reconciled. The others I bring into the circle with me are my husband, my living daughter, 26 years old now, and the three children lost to miscarriages. Not really lost but found for heaven. There still needs to be growth between myself and my husband in expressing our faith to each other. My daughter also is on a faith journey, seeking a faith community she can know she belongs. My hopes and dreams were always that she would “have it easier.” It hasn’t worked out according to my own ideas of what should be. Reading Henri Nouwen’s book is extremely comforting. The Father is so loving, so unconditionally loving, letting His children go out and they go out loved and come back loved still unconditionally, every bit the same way, to infinitely the same extent. I love being in that picture with my husband and daughter and children born in heaven. The people I put in the next circle are people with disabilities, people on assistance and homosexuals because I believe they all, all of them, in one way or another, have been hearing voices to keep silent, don’t talk, don’t ask for justice, we don’t want to hear your stories, sometimes we don’t even way to be bothered by you. But God hears and God answers and thanks be to God, people find their own voices.
April 30th, 2009 @ 7:41 am
Hi Bitsy,
“Home Tonight” is available as an e-book from Random House.
Blessings,
Maureen
Henri Nouwen Society
April 29th, 2009 @ 3:49 pm
Kim,
I haven’t gotten HOME TONIGHT yet. Is the beginning online or is it on Kindle?
Thanks.
Bitsy
April 28th, 2009 @ 10:15 pm
Kim - I am glad to read that you too were drawing in people that you struggle with. Actually, this was happening to me and I was fighting it until I realized that if I am trying to walk with the Spirit, I HAVE to LISTEN to the direction.
There are so many people that I was thinking of needing to charter a few 747’s!
I am NOT going to read ahead but will re-read the specific sections over and over to have a fresh look as we journey together. This is the one book I had never seen before today. What I keep thinking about is how Henri asks himself where is “home” — and reflecting over and over today I realize that “home” is when I am with someone whom I love and loves me … and thus I am HOME although I could be in a ditch & also HOME is when I feel peaceful when alone and just feel the presence of God — it is HOME. Alot more reflecting to do but I won’t be blogging all of you until you are bored to tears. I’m still fighting only wanting to take the people I love and care for and who love and care for me on this journey with me; but KNOW that I have to take all the people I would rather buy a ticket on the Titanic along with me and hopefully have some growth and less resentment at the end of this. Thank you all for your prayers as I continue to keep you in mine. Also, welcome Karen, etc.
(ps)drove an hour for a talk because I knew the speaker and the talk was coincidentally on Forgiveness tonight (Does God have a sense of humor or what?–maybe just persistent!)-Rose
April 28th, 2009 @ 9:51 am
Thanks Karen. What I find touching about your story is the way you and your husband have journeyed together with the Holy Spirit as well as the wisdom that Henri Nouwen offers in his books. Would your husband be one of the people in the inner circle that you will walk with into this story?
One interesting thing I noticed in answering #1 was that in middle circle (friends, acquaintances, business associates,etc) I was drawing in not only people that I get along with but also people with whom I have experienced tension or struggle. One example I can think of is a colleague who I have started working with this year. It seems like we just keep butting heads! So naturally I was surprised when the spirit moved me to pen his name into the circle!
Kim
April 27th, 2009 @ 6:28 pm
Since I was a young girl the profession of nurse was a dream my dear, deceased mom had for me. I fortunately followed that path and still do today. Being an only child & losing my mom @ 27,(she was 59)I am still follwing her dream. I am also guilty of being caught up in our materialistic world. Through family struggles (alcoholism, bankruptcy, unemployment, poor health) I now realize each event is meant for us so we can come to a better place & all things happen for a reason. God eventually lets you know why. My husband brought Henri home after 3 weeks in a detox hospital a year ago. Since then, we have found Henri’s words, life and experiences have put us in touch with Jesus. The Spirit we feel with Henri’s help has so changed our lives. I want to learn more. Thank you! With Blessings, karen