(back to) Chapter 2: Prayer and Acceptance
Many of us our familiar with that old maxim, “It is better to give than to receive.” But Henri suggests that “perhaps the challenge of the gospel lies precisely in the invitation to accept a gift for which we can give nothing in return. For the gift is the life-breath of God.” Henri then reminds us that God’s breath is the source of life not only for ourselves but also for our brothers and sisters and “when we recognize the breath of God in others, we can let them enter our lives and receive the gifts they offer us.” How do you feel when you give?When you receive? How can we be more open to receiving from others, from God?
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March 24th, 2009 @ 7:24 am
Thanks for your gifts everyone! Diane, I ditto that prayer too! Also, I liked what Henri says about trust on the first page of the chapter in that “We trust that the world holds God’s secret within and we expect that secret to be shown to us. Prayer creates that openness in which God is given to us.”
In Our Prayers’
March 22nd, 2009 @ 8:39 am
Diane,
Thank you so much for sharing! The metaphor of the water becoming rain was very meaningful to me. I have wanted to read St. Teresa’s “The Interior Castle” for some time now. I am putting it on the top of my “I need to read this” list.
I continue to pray for all of you as we continue this Lenten journey together.
Peace–Deborah
March 22nd, 2009 @ 7:21 am
Thanks all for your reflections. Thus my prayer this morning becomes very simple:
I am not in control. I cannot grasp that, so Lord, help me accept it.
March 22nd, 2009 @ 6:58 am
So much wisdom on this blog!!!! Diane, the meditation you shared really struck a chord in me, especially as my husband and I have, for a couple of years now, been involved in organic sustainable gardening. That part where you write about how WE are still deciding what WE will pray for, what tasks WE should undertake that will be pleasing to God is marvelous language, as is the beautiful freedom image of standing in the rain. I’m going to share your meditation with my gardening mentor. Thank you.
March 21st, 2009 @ 9:41 am
Deborah,
Your comment about acceptance resonated with me. I find it to be very true that when I realize and accept that God loves me, I also can give and recieve.
Thank you for an eye opening insight, that I had missed.
Cheryl
March 20th, 2009 @ 4:29 pm
Last night I read something that I’d like to share with all of you…it really ties in, I think, to what Henri was trying to convey to us about prayer and acceptance. (When these types of “coincidences” happen to me I pay careful attention because I see it as God helping me face something important about myself!) Anyway…I’ve been incorporating a study of the lives of the Saints as part of my Lenten devotions and last night I read a reflection that someone had written about St. Teresa of Avila. St. Teresa’s most famous work is called “The Interior Castle” where she describes a vision she had of a castle with 7 rooms. The center room represents a complete union with God and the journey to this room is compared to the spiritual journey that so many of us take to reach what Henri would call “that inner holy place where God dwells”. The author of this reflection made St. Teresa’s images very personal and describes her own spiritual journey to this inner room in this way:
In the beginning of our journey, when we realize our hunger and thirst for God, we expend a great deal of effort in trying to do the ‘right’ thing,—obey God, follow all His rules and try hard not to displease Him. The author compares this to dragging a heavy bucket to a well, filling it up, and hauling it back to water our “field”.
As we travel, we begin to realize that it doesn’t have to be so hard. We are still in control though because WE are deciding how and what WE will pray for, what tasks WE should undertake that will be pleasing to God. We are still hauling the bucket but now it is at a nearby stream.
Further on in our journey, we realize that all we have to do is open the gate and the water will come pouring into our “field”. We are beginning to understand that, in her words, “our faith journey becomes not so much what WE can do for God, but what God can do through us, for us, in us.”
Lastly on our journey, we simply stand in the rain in order to be ‘watered’. It’s as if we finally understand that God’s love and grace does not require any effort on our parts….it is totally unconditional.
To me, this last leg of the journey, describes Prayer and Acceptance! On the last page of this chapter, Henri’s prayer says: Dear God, I so much want to be in control. I want to be the master of my own destiny. Still I know that you are saying “Let me take you by the hand and lead you. Accept my love and trust that where I will bring you, the deepest desires of your heart will be fulfilled”
As someone who has struggled all my life with relinquishing control and accepting God’s unconditional love, I’m hoping that finally now I get it……Henri’s beautiful prayer has become my own.
Thanks for giving me the freedom to share this!
Peace to you all
Diane
March 20th, 2009 @ 11:49 am
Hello all,
The amazing thing about this chapter for me is that Henri pulls it all into prayer and silence. And even more amazing is his beginning definition of prayer: “Deep silence leads us to realize that prayer is, after all, acceptance.” (p. 47)
As I have cultivated silence and prayer in my own life, one of the greatest blessings I have received is a deep sense of acceptance. When I pray, I know how intensely God accepts me as myself and how much I am loved. At the same time, I am able to pray because I know God’s acceptance and love. As I am growing more in this pray/acceptance, acceptance/pray it is easier to both give and receive in love both to God and to others, and like Kathryn so beautifully wrote, it becomes hard to define who is the giver and who is the receiver.
It’s when I don’t feel accepted by God that I worry about whether others accept me or not. Then it is very hard to both give and to receive. That’s when I question the motives of others and of myself. When I know that God accepts me and loves me, I can give and receive, and it doesn’t matter whether others accept me as a person or not. It doesn’t matter if their motives are faulty or not.
Peace–Deborah
March 19th, 2009 @ 11:05 pm
Hello Book Club Family,
Again, you were all in my prayers. Today was the Henri Nouwen day of prayer given by a Passionist here in NY. I, like Henri find it easier to give than to receive and this is very selfish and probably a form of pride. When we can pick up a check at a restaurant etc., but we need to allow another that same joy. How many of us received that unexpected Christmas gift and find ourselves running to the store to reciprocate the next time we see the person with the “excuse” that you forgot it? We all do it and I don’t know why. We accept gifts from God each and every day and although I consider myself a grateful person; I don’t reciprocate with all God has given me by immediately giving back (by giving to another). Someone gave me their time today when I was blue (God’s gift to me) but did I stop and do that for another — or was I too busy?
Anyway, the best line of the day was that Henri Nouwen believed in “the Sacrament of the moment” - as he was present with each and everyone he met. We would want to know about him but first he wanted to know us. Let us accept our gifts — even the ones that are in each and every one of us that we often show false humility and deny.
I am rambling all — sorry! Have a great week — and found that you are all very special and God is at work on this sharing blog! PEACE! - Rose @—-{—
March 19th, 2009 @ 7:17 pm
I appreciate reading all the sharing. It’s so beautiful when acceptance and giving and receiving are so deeply experienced. I know this deep experience in my own life can disappointedly not happen. Every so often I meet up with someone and actually have the experience Henri Nouwen writes about on page 50 “What are they really trying to do?” “What’s actually on their minds?” “They must not be laying all their cards on the table.” “There’s certainly more to that remark than meets the eye.” How could Henri capture my struggle so naturally that I feel I’ve actually said all these things to myself? Feels like he’s miraculously been able to use my own words. Later, on page 57, he writes “In this prayerful acceptance of each other, there is no place left for prejudice because instead of defining others, we let them appear to us as ever new.” I’m grateful for this chapter of his book too and to be able to reflect upon how destructively these suspicious thought patterns actually define other people and prevent me from letting them appear to me as ever new. I think from now on I’ll be more on guard to fight off this kind of self-talk and be more open to others and God.
March 19th, 2009 @ 5:37 am
The times I’ve been most present to the moment when the gift of loving one another is shared have been when I’ve shared food I have made (or sometimes bought) with people on the streets of our city, and times when I’ve been able to tend to the needs of someone who is very sick or, in the case of my grandmother, when she was sick and dying. You could say that those were cases when I was “giving” rather than receiving, but really the trans formative power of those moments were truly communion. I couldn’t tell you if I was giving or receiving. It was quite simply both a gift given and received in the one breath. Similarly when I received the sacrament for the sick once in my own church, I felt the very same profoundly humbling gift shared. And too, there have been times in the intimacy of the bedroom when I have felt this same sense of sacramental love during or as a result of making love.
In each case there is a feeling of something powerful and deep moving among us. And what it is remains wordless. There may have be words on the surface, but we all know that the words we use don’t get near the depth or beauty of what we were sharing. Allowing those moments to be, simply be, making the memory as transfigured touchstones has been a source of grateful prayer for me, and too, a source of hope that even the degradation of old age may be transformed, transfigured by the shared gift of love.
March 17th, 2009 @ 9:28 pm
Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you, too!
I am very comfortable in the role of the giver. Receiving gifts is much more challenging. But as I think back the most important moments in my life have been the gifts that I have been given. The gift of my children, the surprising and spontaneous gifts of love in my marriage, the gift of my talents. And those unexpected (but much welcomed) phone calls from old friends….I tend to take these gifts for granted rather than stopping and relishing them. Thanks for reminding me—
March 17th, 2009 @ 12:41 pm
This chapter really spoke to me in many ways and was a great reminder of how I need to be more open to receive God’s instructions and blessings.
At first, I thought of others who are clinched up and the why and how they deal with their fears. The more I thought it about it the more I realized how much I’m on guard against “ambush” with my “weapon” out.
I am sure the things, being broke, being without, and being unable, that I fear most are what others might be looking for in me when I am clinched up!
Being “Vulnerable” is a hard concept to think about in this economy; however, I know that it’s the only way to peace which is to let the breath of God work for and through me. Henri and the Holy Spirit are telling me that I need to pray more and be more open to accept the gifts of God.
We did a re-group study for leaders at our church recently and one of the questions was to pick a word, and there was a list, which describes your relationship with Christ. The word I chose was New and it was nice to confirm my answer this morning in what Henri says about living in a constant expectation in God, who makes everything new!
Today, my drawbridge is down!
Happy St.Patricks Day!
March 17th, 2009 @ 9:20 am
Many thanks to Ed Wojcicki for posting last week’s questions while I was away. Ed was a director on the Henri Nouwen Society board for many years and has moderated several of our online book discussions.
Thank you to everyone for the very thoughtful and moving comments. Many blessings to all!
Maureen
Henri Nouwen Society