November 3 - 9
This week we are covering the chapters from “Claim Your Unique Presence in Your Community” through to “Avoid All Forms of Self-Rejection”. We have been focusing on two or three chapters each week. This week however, we’re going to open the blog for comments on all the chapters from page 67 to 86. If a chapter has spoken to you, please share that with us. I would ask that you start by identifying the chapter by name when you post your comment. This is a different format for this week and I’m excited about the opportunity to enlarge and expand our comment base. Blessings, Jack
“Claim Your Unique Presence in Your Community” page 67
Discussion Question: How does God want you to be present to others? What does God not require of you? What might “creative presence” and “creative absence” mean in the context of community life?
“Accept Your Identity as a Child of God” page70
Discussion Question: What is the identity you are called to claim? What does Henri say this identity offers?
“Own Your Pain” page 72
Discussion Question: We can share our struggle as a service only after what? How do you respond to Henri’s statement: “Thus the core question in your ministry is ‘Is my sharing of my struggle in the service of the one who seeks my help?’”
“Know Yourself as Truly Loved” page 74
Discussion Question: Explain Henri’s words: “You will discover that the more love you can take in and hold on to, the less fearful you will become.”
“Protect Your Innocence” page 76
Discussion Question: We can only protect our innocence when we do what?
“Let Your Lion Lie Down with Your Lamb” page 78
Discussion Question: What is spiritual maturity? How does it work? What is your lion and your lamb? What is Henri saying?
“Be a Real Friend” page 80
Discussion Question: At what point does friendship become more and more possible? What does Henri dare us to do and where will it lead us?
“Trust Your Friends” page 82
Discussion Question: What is Henri’s advice in friendship concerning our own belief? What allowance are we to make?
“Control Your Own Drawbridge” page 84
Discussion Question: How does Henri’s metaphor of the castle and moat apply to your life? How and when do you use the drawbridge?
“Avoid All Forms of Self-Rejection” page 86
Discussion Question: What are Henri’s thoughts on self-rejection?
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November 8th, 2008 @ 5:03 pm
BE A REAL FRIEND, page 80
It’s interesting how a certain writing can lend a different perspective and, after taken in, can help healing. My mom and dad were reserved people, didn’t show much affection openly. Mom died. Dad was very lonely. After a year and a half Darlene entered into the picture. Dad and Darlene enjoyed a very pleasant relationship. But, at one time, I started fretting that Darlene was beginning to mean more to dad than mom had. Dad then told me “I couldn’t have married a better woman than your mom.” The fact that he had never said that, in my hearing at least, ever before in his life or that maybe he had really only come to that realization after she died has been nagging at me, at a low level, but nevertheless nagging, for quite a long time. This particular meditation, especially using the examples of the disciples’ friendship/love for Jesus growing even more stronger and intimate after Jesus’ death says a lot to me about not locking our love lives into something defined temporarily and now I feel a lot better about what dad had been maybe trying to express. There’s something in the Bible, some example, some model, for everything isn’t there. If we can just look at it from a larger perspective and thank God for help in that. Dad died 5 years ago and is now at peace with mom.
November 8th, 2008 @ 12:50 am
“Trust Your Friends” page 82
Wow this one in particular hit me like a ton of bricks. When friendships are in a “quiet” period of time.
For whatever reason, may be they need some time to heal from life or previous hurts again what ever the reason. I attack myself, beat myself up.. I failed, I should of… could of.. said this or not say that. I destroyed a friendship…You name it I did it… My failure….
Then I battle with myself if I should send a birthday card. or should I not… Horrible battles with myself…..
Then I’m absolutely elated when I get an E-mail that says Thank-you for the card … and that is all I need. but it has been such a struggle for me.
“Let their recieving be as free as your giving…
Soemtiemes the silence is what my friend can give at this time…
I try to be patient and hope and pray for the best for my friends…
I have to have to allow freedom with my friends…
I try not to worry about motives…
I just want my friends to know that I support them even in my silence…
But it has been a journey,, that I know God is walking me through.
Again Henri nailed this one for me…
Brian
November 7th, 2008 @ 9:28 pm
CLAIM YOUR UNIQUE PRESENCE IN YOUR COMMUNITY
Henri Nouwen hits the nail right on the head with this meditation. “You have not yet fully found your place in your community.” When the community is constantly growing in spiritual maturity, I’m beginning to wonder if this will always be the case. One of my beloved former pastors, in his dealing with his need for a period of absence, took a three-month sabbatical and delved more deeply into contemplative and centering prayer practices with a mentor. My husband and I belong to a local Sojourner’s group–it is an ecumenical group–ten members currently. We started out with discussing Jim Wallis’ writings and now we are reading and discussing Bishop Robinson’s book “In the Eye of the Storm.” Participating in this blog also is a way of “going elsewhere” for a time. I absolutely treasure the daily and weekly Henri Nouwen meditations that appear on my computer each morning and often forward them on to friends whom I think might also feel a connection. None of these things detract from my home faith community but help me to wait for things to unfold on God’s Time and not on my own time or agenda. My patience has grown and I do believe God is constantly putting people in place to help with these periods of creative absence. My thoughts and prayers are for everyone here, especially I pray for Patty and Roger.
November 6th, 2008 @ 4:54 pm
CONTROL YOUR OWN DRAWBRIDGE PG 84
This reflection recalls for me setting boundaries . I must decide who I will allow into my interior life. If I don’t,I know from experience that I will suffer burnout. I may even grow resentful. I need to examine when I need to replenish my batteries. I can only give when I sense I am filled to abundance(with His Love). I need to take time to be alone in solitary prayer on a daily basis: to reflect on what is happening in my life;to recognize Grace; and use prayers for intercession,supplication,and gratitude. I realize that I cannot always be available to others. I need to pull up my drawbridge and take time for myself…..
Peace to all
Judith
November 6th, 2008 @ 2:28 pm
CLAIM YOUR UNIQUE PRESENCE IN YOUR COMMUNITY: For several years, I was in fulltime ministry in inner city, street ministry….working with street people, people coming out of prisons, prostitutes, HIV-infected and dying, etc…..most dire of needs and life and death situations each day and night….it was the most exciting, scary and personally fulfilling time…and sadly I reached burnout, mostly because the inner circle of leadership broke down and there was not that support to keep in the strength of God and to have burdens carried by others, as we all became weak and fragile, and the press of needs became most important as times of refreshing in God’s Spirit dwindled in the tyranny of our own self imposed independence…..then about two years ago, I moved in with my parents to help my dad with my mom, as her health and dementia became severe….it was a sacrifice by all worldly comparisons, yet the rewards of it far outnumbered anything I “gave up”….my mom passed last October…I’ve stayed with my dad to help him transition after his 65 years of marriage to my mom….this part has been just like when in street ministry….no matter if your community is quite large with great numbers of people involved, or very small, with just one or two….the same principles apply. When I get to where I am not “present” to my dad…I realize that I need to come away and nestle into Father and have Him tell me who I am and how I am to reclaim my true vocation and bust me on what I’m doing that is “none of my business”…..true service leads closer to the heart of Jesus and causes joy, even in sacrifice and pain. As I read through this, I substitute “father” for the word “community”….and it works quite well for me.
November 4th, 2008 @ 11:09 pm
CLAIM YOUR UNIQUE PRESENCE IN YOUR COMMUNITY -I have had the wonderful energizing experience of being creatively present in my community in service for many years. It was an energizing and joyful time. There was also a 12-mos period to withdraw. A time that was too painful to be present in any way. Upon reflection, I like to think of that absence time as creative absence. Although difficult on me and some in the community, it was right for all of us at the time. The dark and the light sides of life. I believe God requires nothing but truth from me. As Phillip reminds us, ‘I am way,the truth, and the life’ If I cannot walk in truth, then how can I be following in Christ’s footsteps? I have learned there few who can live in truth for they haven’t come to know their own truth of who God has created them to be. This is a mystery that continues to unfold day by day and is peppered with fear at times. If I am to be authentic and a reflection of the presence of Christ, I must have the courage to look at my dark and light sides and invite them to embrace, in that way I shall not be shaken by any storm. (Sounds easy doesn’t it, but truly not without a loving presence) Blessings kindred spirits. May we all share our light in each community we meet.
November 4th, 2008 @ 11:36 am
CLAIM YOUR UNIQUE PRESENCE IN YOUR COMMUNITY -Claiming my unique presence came as early as last night by describing my history in youth ministry to our church’s new youth director. I felt a little defensive by a cookout invitation e-mail that was questioning whether my Bibles and basketball small group was(is)a small group, and that at our before school youth prayer breakfast, that we don’t actually pray!
I am almost sure that I read way more into an e-mail than what was(is) meant by someone who needs allies in a new job, however, in being united, communication is a great gift in becoming who we are in Christ, something I struggle with. “I am the way, The truth , and the life,” Jn 14:6, Jesus tells us that in believing that God will answer us in this process of becoming who we are, our unique presence, through meeting Him in the gospels!
I like what Henri writes on(p.67)that when we’re run down from doing things that are none of our business, and not to get away from our deepest self and God. Being open to truly being there for others is something that I can’t do alone,so I thank God for the advocate.
Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation. Ps. 25:5
November 4th, 2008 @ 6:53 am
CLAIM YOUR UNIQUE PRESENCE IN YOUR COMMUNITY - Nouwen may have not considered a cyberspace community on the Internet community, but here we are. And as I read through this chapter, this community did come to mind. There are times that being a part of the community asks for writing, prayer, absence or solitude. There are people who particpate in this community who never write but read and pray. There are people who take the bread from this community to their local church or parish. There are people who give and receive from this community nourishment for our lives together in the world wide body of “called-out” ones, the church. If you are reading this book and reading this blog, you have a unique presence in this community.
November 2nd, 2008 @ 6:12 pm
LET YOUR LION LIE DOWN WITH YOUR LAMB -
Once again, Nouwen is able to put a complex personal issue into a chewable context. Recently I’ve been struggling with a reconciliation of my aggressive, decision making self and, slightly different from the context of the lamb that Nouwen presents, my quiet, trusting, patient waiting-on-God vulnerability by not taking charge myself. Deep within I know that God wants me to be a combination of both - a gentle strength. And so, as Nouwen so eloquently put it, “The kingdom of peace that Jesus came to establish begins when your lion and your lamb can freely and fearlessly lie down together.”