October 20-26: “Befriend Your Emotions”
This week we will be covering the chapters from “Seek a New Spirituality” to “Stay With Your Pain”. The two chapters for our discussion will be “Befriend Your Emotions” (page 42) and “Let Jesus Transform You” (page 40). Please share your thoughts and comments. And if you have a chapter in this section that you want to comment on, please e-mail me (jackgiven@comcast.net) your comment and I will include it as we go through this thought provoking, challenging and life-enriching way of exploring The Inner Voice of Love.
Befriend Your Emotions
Restlessness. Anxiety. How does Henri suggest we befriend our emotions?
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October 22nd, 2008 @ 8:29 pm
Henri writes: “The way to ‘victory’ is not in trying to overcome your dispiriting emotions directly but in building a deeper sense of safety and at-homeness and a more incarnate knowledge that you are deeply loved.” It seems as though all my struggles always come back to needing to remember that I am the beloved. I am not just a little loved–but deeply loved. I don’t have to be afraid to own up to my emotions nor do I need to be disappointed in myself. It’s safe to be anxious and afraid with Jesus because these emotions can become the very stuff that he uses to build in me a deeper sense of being deeply loved.
October 22nd, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
Henri points out all of the negative ways we respond when facing more unpleasant emotions. He leads us to see how “whipping” ourselves is more harmful for it tends to pull us further from our center. Allow and acknowledge our emotions, befriend them and don’t become victimized by them. Rather remember we are “a precious child of God” who loves us and will fulfill all that we need.
October 21st, 2008 @ 7:35 am
At the beginning, it seemed like some emotions only led away from relationship, to God, to others, to even what is in myself. Now it seems like every emotion leads to relationship, to God, to others, even to who is inside myself. That must be because of learning to welcome them, up to this point–maybe there is some experience yet which will be too deeply hurtful where I won’t be able to feel God’s Love through it, life is tricky, but I hope I will always turn to support like that which is in this meditation from Nouwen and hope, if with someone else who is struggling with their emotions, it would be possible for me to use such balanced and comforting language to support that person too.
October 20th, 2008 @ 8:49 am
“you have to befriend them so that you do not become their victim…” Henri suggests to me that accepting, rather than repressing emotions gives one freedom from them, He suggests not giving our power to strangers, to seeking the gift of prudence,to respect our belovedness, to “not expect fufillment from people who you already know are are incapable of giving it.” Accepance, courage, faith in God and in oneself and a clear appraisal of our needs as well as the gifts and limitation of others leads away from being victims. The foundation of all is faith and trust in God, the willingness to hurt, then heal- we can do nothing without Him, yet we are the beloved, always.
October 17th, 2008 @ 10:31 am
As I read this chapter, I reflected on two paradigms of life. The first deals with the four stages of growth, beginning with unconscious incompetence, then conscious incompetence, leading to conscious competence and finally unconscious competence. Anger, for example, is an emotion that we experience as if we have no control over it. As we realize, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit that we are to control our emotions, not let them control us, we move to conscious incompetence, or what Nouwen identified as “feeling disillusioned by our own reaction.” Nouwen’s paradigm (and my favorite Nouwen quote) is “What happened invites you to conversion. This is the deepest meaning of history: a constant invitation calling us to turn our hearts to God and so discover the full meaning of our lives.” (Here and Now, page 73). We move to conscious competence – seeing that emotions are an opportunity to turn our hearts to God. As we use what happens to us emotionally to become closer to God this practice moves to us unconscious competence. As we are centered in God and our belovedness, we become unconsciously competent to handle emotions as our friend. Our emotions help us turn our heart to God.