DQ 3.1 Drink to the bottom?
Can you give an example of “drinking the cup to the bottom”? Was it a sad or joyful occasion? Was it worth it? OR, do you have some work to do before you are able to drink the cup?
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March 15th, 2007 @ 7:23 am
Diane, I too feel gripped by Henri’s comment, ““We cannot live a spiritual life in secrecy.” In recent years I have been saying I need to be more authentic. I am better at using the word than in practicing the kinds of autheniticity that some of you have written about so beautifully. This part of the book challenges me with my own self-promise to be more authentic. The metaphor of drinking my own cup of life helps me understand how I can be more authentic — and feel more liberated in doing so!
March 14th, 2007 @ 7:38 am
Connie,
Your response was moving, poignant and went to my heart of what it means to me to drink the cup. Thank you for being what Henri calls an “open space” for others to find community and truth. I am moved and inspired by your perseverence and honesty about seeking joy and drinking the cup. To me your willingness to “get up” is drinking the cup- it was what Christ did until he became the pure love we are called to become. Thank you and may you be blessed with joy!
March 13th, 2007 @ 12:03 pm
From the book, God Calling:
“..rise above your fears..into my Joy. Forget all sense of failure and shortcomings, all the painful jolts and jars, and TRUST Me, love Me, call upon Me.. What would you think of the runner who threw himself on the ground in despondency at his first hurdle?..”
St. Ignatius of Loyola:
There are very few people who realize what God would make of them if they abandoned themselves into His hands, and let themselves be transformed by His Grace.
These 2 quotes got my full attention in the past couple days. In thinking about what to write for this particular discussion question, “…drinking the cup to the bottom.. Was it worth it?”, I wanted to tell you about the 15 year struggle we’ve endured with an adopted daughter who has Reactive Attachment Disorder. She never bonded with us as her parents because she had too many “new mommies” before she was 3 years old. Now that is some pretty deep sense of failure and painful jolts. And the truth is, it is too difficult to write about because it requires me to re-live the experience in order to describe it to you. So, then, I thought, I’ll write about our oldest son, 30 years old, who just got married. I’d tell you about how happy my husband and I are that our son found someone to truly love and in the same breath tell you how disconnected we felt because our son kept us at arms’ length, barely speaking to us but still expecting us to know information of what was happening. (…I was not given the gift of being a mind reader when I became a mother…) If I had pages and pages of space to write here, I could describe how much the Lord helped us to persevere, to just keep loving.
The day before the wedding when I prayed, the Lord spoke to me through the words on a website, “..unimaginable graces are given to those who trust in My mercy..” I told the Lord, ‘..well, okay then, I’m gonna need ALOT of mercy tomorrow!..” The wedding itself turned out to be a huge gift from the Lord because of the unimaginable sense of true joy I felt to see my son so very happy on his wedding day. Never before had I experienced this joy. I will never forget it. I didn’t want that sense of joy to ever leave my spirit. It faded away but I can remember..
I want to let myself “be transformed by His Grace” as St. Ignatius talks about in the quote above. I don’t want to be the “runner who threw himself on the ground in despondency at his first hurdle”, although I think I have many times. If I was watching a race on TV and saw a runner throw himself on the ground because he missed a hurdle I would start yelling at the TV, “get UP! get UP! you’re in a race! that’s what you’re here for!” .
I want to trust the Lord. I want to get past my fears, especially my fear of the future. I want to FIND joy in my cup of sorrow, the what-it-means-to-live-a-human-life-on-the-planet-Earth cup… of life.
March 13th, 2007 @ 7:02 am
My cup has been filled with a heavy cross and because of prayer, reflection, and the support of a close friend, I have “sipped” it in small doses all the way to the bottom. Having done this, and finally seeing my empty cup, I am filled with gratitude, and yes, joy! The sorrow is still there, but by slowly tasting it I understand it better. And yes, I will raise my cup again. It is His to fill, with joys and sorrows, and with His help I know I can empty it.
March 13th, 2007 @ 6:50 am
Stephen, your response to your co-worker in his time of distress tells me something about you. You indicated that you worked closely with him but really had no close outside relationship. His call to you for help, and your immediate and totally unselfish response tells me that his faith in you was well placed. I believe that we are placed in people’s lives for a reason and you did a very Christ-like thing when you opened your heart and your home to him in a time of great pain and need. You passed with flying colors what our pastor calls our “final exam”, which is found in Matthew 25!
March 11th, 2007 @ 9:06 pm
Hi to all of you, My whole life has thrown me challenging and sad and joyful cups to drink, and drink I have done, but often as a youngster in our home, in fear and trembling, after as a teenager I was getting more into the Spiritual life and beginning to drink my cup a bit deeper, but often with resentment. As a married adult I have faced being disowned by a parent, but continued to love that parent . . mostly in prayer and little love you notes. Then the disability thing was too severe to ignore and that cup took me many years to accept, but once I knew what it was and finally was able to forgive the same parent and truly love, I felt freedom and peace. But I do not believe I will have drank my cup to very bottom until the day I die.
I tend to be a person who faces things, accepts them and carries on as positive as possible and just hope and pray I am being a little more loving and forgiving every day.
March 11th, 2007 @ 7:51 pm
I can so relate to those who have already posted responses to this question. The past 2 years have been a roller coaster of drinking large draughts from the cup and then throwing it from me when “fear and safety,” as Ed said, get the best of me. I have never had a time of more turmoil in my life, mostly because I had never chosen to really live before. I have been more honest about the way I do the “Christian thing” than I was able to before, but the reality of my life of obligation and duty often overwhelms me as I try to break free from it. My struggle with the truth about myself has been so painful, but often in the midst of the worst of the pain, I hear a voice that says, “Would you want to go back? Would you want to return to your life of dutiful obedience without a true sense of my love for you? Would you choose not to know what you now know to go back to a comfortable place?” And each time it’s asked, my answer is a resounding “no.” I want reality; I want truth; I want to know Jesus as He really is and not as I’ve been told He is. And I know in the end, it will be worth the pain and bitterness of the cup He has given me to drink.
March 10th, 2007 @ 4:47 pm
Thanks for the question Ed. I must admit, this one has left me a little shaken. But I think it’s good because it also has me really being honest about my fear of “drinking the cup to the bottom” I went back and read Chapter 9 again trying to make some sense of my reluctance to face this question. I keep going back to where Henri says “We cannot live a spiritual life in secrecy. We cannot find our way to true freedom in isolation.” Since this thought is not only uncomfortable but downright painful for me I would have to say that at this point in my journey ‘drinking the cup to the bottom’ means inviting others into my life, embracing fellowship, making myself once again vulnerable despite past hurts. And God is so faithful. He has given me family members, co-workers, and yes even the dreaded ‘church people’ who love me and are willing companions on this journey. Not to mention all of you in this blessed reading group! Thank you, as always, for giving me a safe place to be in community.
Henri talks about community so much–he lived and breathed it and I envy his passion and his willingness to ‘drink the cup’ by making himself so vulnerable. I’m not there yet.
Peace,
Diane
March 9th, 2007 @ 4:13 pm
Lately, it’s been sometime after I have turned my cup up that I have realized how much was left. God puts those feelings of love in my heart that lets me know he was(is)present in the circumstance(s)of life. It’s great to have feelings but to know Him and be in relationship with Him makes it easier to make the choice of living the sorrows into the joys because only by him can it really be done. His creation is for our joy together for His glory and our salvation is the gift that Christ gives us in the Cross. Last night my daughter and I admired God’s creation of Orion and the Big Dipper in a beautiful sky, what a cup full. Father, give me the strength and courage to always drink the cup of salvation. Shalom!
March 8th, 2007 @ 5:13 pm
What I think of mostly is that I have not drunk the cup to the bottom. Why not? Fear and safety. My first thought is that I sometimes take the safe route to whatever, and my other thought is that sometimes I am afraid to live the life that God has given to me, and instead I turn on the autopilot or I choose not to risk, not to become vulnerable. I gulped a bit when I read about drinking to the bottom, becuase I thought, “I don’t often do that, but I know those who do and I’d like to be more like that.” They really live!
March 8th, 2007 @ 1:21 pm
One occasion that comes to mind occurred a little more than a year ago. It was about 9:30 at night back in January of 2006. I was just about ready to go to bed when I received a phone call. On the other end of the phone was a person that I worked with. We worked closely together, so we knew each other pretty well. But, up to this point our friendship was primarily limited to the workplace. He is a single person with no immediate family nearby and a person that was really trying hard to get his life back on track after a broken relationship and bouts of depression.
On the phone he was distraught. Through the tears he went on to tell me that his home was being gutted by fire. His house was literally minutes away from where we live. So, I hung up the phone and told him that I would be right there. When I arrived at his house the fire had been extinguished but the damage was severe. He was at a neighbor’s house when I found him. He embraced me when I arrived. I helped him navigate his way through the interview with a Red Cross representative and some interactions with his insurance representative that night. And then invited him to stay in our spare room for the night. I continued to help him in the following weeks as he dealt with the fallout of having such a catastrophe in his life. Fourteen months has passed since the fire and while we are no longer working together, our friendship continues. In fact I think of him as a brother.
On that occasion, I believe I looked into the cup and had no hesitation in drinking what it contained. It is hard to categorize this as a sad or joyful occassion. Throughout the duration I would say it has been both. The joy has been the bond that this experience has created between this friend and my family. I could not have imagined this prior to the catastrophe in his life.
I can think of many other occasions in my life when I looked into the cup and recognized the sorrow that it contained and passed it along to the next person as swiftly as possible. I still have some work to do in that regard. My prayer is that I find the grace to be more willing to drink the cup in the future when the occasions are presented to me.
“To Life!”