DQ 2-1: April 17-23
Does the world tell lies about who you are – perhaps, that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not productive enough, not rich enough? Where do these messages come from? Please respond by clicking on the Comments link below.
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April 29th, 2008 @ 6:52 am
Hello to everyone, I just received information about this site from my cousin. I find it wonderful and so inspiring.
I believe that the Lord loves me and helps me through each and every day. It wasn’t always so though. I suffered a nervous breakdown many years ago and found myself in a hospital. This was caused by many health problems that just got to be too much for me to handle. I found strength while in the hospital from patients and myself. The quiet times I prayed to God for help and he brought me out of my depression and my self confidence soared.
After ten days I was released and went home with my family to begin again with renewed confidence and joy just to be alive.
I believe that at times when I am down it is because of myself and so I get busy and find something to do or just be glad that I am alive and can just be whatever I choose to be.
When I look back at all of the things I have accomplished in my soon to be 72 years I feel amazed at my progress in life. My husband told me when we first met that we are given one body. And it is up to us to have accomplished as much as we want to before we return it to the Lord.
I read one time that no one can put us down or make us less than we are unless we let them. So I choose to never let them put me down or feel less than.
Thanks so much for all your writings.
And thanks to my cousin for sharing this site with me.
Mary Louise
June 12th, 2007 @ 8:07 am
Is it the world, or others, who are telling us that we are worthless really? May be many of us can feel those messages. But it is definitely not the world, or others, who make us believe that we are worthless. The responsibility for that lies in ourselves alone.
April 23rd, 2006 @ 9:56 pm
Carole,
I am pleased if something I said has helped you. I could see you had a major health problem - and I do know this things you use when you go out. I do not need one of those, but I do live with a colostomy that cannot be controlled and a bladder bnag on my leg. The first since Dec. ‘99, and the latter since Oct. ‘03. As I said in the beginning, I may be in a manual and a powerchair and I may be forever looking for a washroom, but I am happy to be alive, and to know that I truly am the beloved cild and very precious to my Beloved friend, Jesus.
It is he who tells me in my heart which passages to go to in which need. my most favourite, because anxiety goes with FXTAS, is John 14:1. The Bible is the most fantastic book, and Nouwen has helped me to understand even better than my minor in Theology at Seattle U. Bless you!
April 23rd, 2006 @ 10:11 am
Patty,
Thank you for your posts - your words speak to me. Perhaps because my illness keeps me from going many places, and visually singles me out, as I have to wear a respirator (like the kind that painters use for paints and toxic solvents) when I do venture out of my apartment.
And I loved your quote from the Song of Songs….indeed, I am absorbing more and more that I am precious, beloved….
I recently became more deeply aware how joining the sufferings I do have with the huge numbers of others who suffer in this way (surely even more than I) and through bringing these sufferings to Christ causes me to be less alone, and even brings me joy that I may participate in such an exquisite process - redemption, healing. Indeed, He loves me. I am His beloved daughter.
April 22nd, 2006 @ 6:22 pm
After reading many of these comments, I see three of us struggling with health issues and others struggling is several other ways. And yet most of seem to be drawn to Henri’s books because he, too, like everyone does, struggled. But he was was not afraid to express his struggles in his writings.
This particular book is so good for me to come back too, even though I have gotten this message from my head to my heart. I still need at times to get it back into my heart.
I also believe that God’s plan for each of us is to live out each day to the best of our ability for today with whatever comes. Today I went over to the Mall because I was getting cranky and felt we all needed a break. It was a wonderful experience!
People here in Regina were so good and kind to me and went out of their way to help me. I went to the Mall at the library and picked out a couple of books, and then enjoyed a wonderful cruise home in my powerchair.
Upon arriving home, I took our 12 lb. dog and away we went for a walk. She loves it. Then we came home. I have prayed and written to a couple of Ataxia friends, and now it is time to relax.
It is my firn belif that when those negative voices get me down it is the evil spirit at work in me and I just pray that he be gone and Praise God and I am back to my usual joking self.
April 22nd, 2006 @ 7:35 am
I find this to be a very rich discussion. I felt a great moment of comfort when reading Colette’s reminder that “God will fill the desires of our hearts in His own way.” This is especially important to me because sometimes I jokingly (I think) tell people that God is mean because he won’t get out a rubber stamp and approve the grand ideas I have for my life. But my mother-in-law reminded me with a chuckle this week that God IS slow — that is, slower than we want him to be — and my friend Mae, who responded above, keeps telling me that God indeed has a great plan for me. We have agreed to celebrate when we find out what it is. (I do wish God would hurry up about that, but alas, I know that my own sense of timing doesn’t matter.)
I ought to be laughing at myself, really, because I wonder if someday I’ll truly discover that God’s “plan” for me is to give me the gift of live TODAY and that I should do all I can with it instead of fretting so much about the future. I think that’s what Henri means when he says we ought to remember today that we are God’s beloved. Today.
Karen, you can be helpful to the rest of us with your continued comments about what it means to believe and experience that “belovedness” in our lives.
April 21st, 2006 @ 5:43 pm
I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. My heart does not seem to be resonating with this book as much as “With Open Hands” that I am just about to finish. I’m not sure if it is because this area of my life is pretty much settled. For me, any lies I hear are either from the world, my own flesh, or the evil one. Regardless they are lies. The only struggle I have with self-acceptance is with my weight/appearance and I think those lies are probably from all three noted above. It is totally ridicules and I know it and I still struggle with it.
I will say that 15-20 years ago when the idea that God loved me became heart knowledge instead of just head knowledge, my life/actions began to really change. Knowing God loves me makes all the difference in how I think and live. I rarely get down on myself because He that has begun a good work in Me will bring it to completion in His time. I just have to keep moving toward Him. I’m just thankful to be on the journey and not lost.
April 19th, 2006 @ 9:52 pm
For me, the biggest way I get messages that I am not good enough is that so many people consider me a nobody because I am in a eheel chair or my power chair. They cut in fron of me when I am in line as if I don’t exist. Many places are not wheelchair accesicible, the town or places don’t care.
There are many apartments in this city that take pets, but not one of them is wheelchair accescible or have elevaoers. We will be forced to rent or buy a house and put in a ramp. And the strangest thing is rhat if you say something to someone like “Hi, how are you?” Many of them look at me surprised that I am not braindead! Would it be scarey to see a braindead person driving a power chair?
I am very intelligent and do a lot of support work on line with others with different fortms of Ataxia, but do not hold down a job and for obvious reasons, am not looking for work. In todays world, even at age 60, that also makes me a nobody! To help myself remember that I am God’s beloved I read Ezekial 34 and most often Song of songs or Song of Solomon, Ch 2 it says something like this, “Arise my Beloved, my beautiful one and come.” If that doesn’t help me, nothing will. But I have many other favourite passagges that also help in both the New and Old testaments.
April 19th, 2006 @ 7:52 pm
Thank you, Genesee, for the beautiful Latin saying and the compassionate words-they are words from a beloved to a beloved.After I posted my entry about not being joyful, I stumbled upon the following in a collection I keep and felt humbled, gently reminded and clearly guided!!!
“Joy, like gratitude, is a choice. It requires choosing for the light when there is much darkness to frighten me, choosing for life even when the forces of death are so visible and choosing for the truth, even when I am surrounded by lies.”
HENRI NOUWEN
April 19th, 2006 @ 1:55 pm
For me, these negative thoughts come from myself. I have a chronic illness which has taken me through all of my savings, and my income is now a social security disability check, not very large because I’ve not been able to work very much in the last several years before my disablement. I live with federally subsidized funds for my housing and my heat, and struggle for the food necessary to maintain what health I do have. There are times when I hear about some person who does so very much good in the world dying at an age younger than myself, and I ask why. It seems so unfair that I, who can contribute nothing to the world, lives on, when someone who contributes so much does not.
Jesus continues to whisper that He loves me, and I continually run into others who are so very kind to me. I have been meditating upon this: I am “uniquely precious”. I find myself resisting that at many levels; it is incomprehensible to me. I want to feel “precious”. I want to know it deep within my being, that I am precious. What a word. I have nothing, all I have comes from God and the generosity of people. Yet I live in a very nice apartment and have the luxury of a laptop and a little parakeet to keep me company. I am aware of spiritual riches (most of the time) and have a good life compared with most people globally. I have so very much to be grateful for, including a chiming clock that reminds me on the hour to give thanks to the One.
I guess I don’t have a point. Just sharing myself with you all. Expressing my inner reality….I am loved/I am despicable. It is such a mystery…..beyond words, really.
Carole
April 19th, 2006 @ 1:41 pm
I am somewhat like Colette in that I find myself “hanging onto everything” Henri says. He was always struggling, as we always are. His offer to be Fred’s spiritual guide because one need’s a knowledge of the terrain to be covered on the journey of the spiritual life assures me that I need to have him for my guide also.
Ed asks about the lies about who we are that we hear from the world…for me the lies are that we have to DO something to earn our rewards, rather than receive something. We have to prove something, we have to do something, and then we will “earn” fame, success, money, acclaim, etc. If we do not earn these things we get in the mode of self rejection, i.e. we were not good enough to earn these rewards.
I think in the beginning, when Henri asked Fred if he liked his job, he was in reality asking Fred if he liked himself. Henri then sensed anger and resignation, which I think are our responses to where we are in our lives because we think this is the best we can do.
The beauty of being the beloved,to me, is first of all receiving the grace to accept this, that is, to RECEIVE it. Receiving gracefully does not come naturally, but I think must be learned. Self rejection could get in the way of our receiving this ‘belovedness’ because we have not done anything to “earn” it, as the world tells us we need to do. The beauty is, we don’t have to earn it,it is a gift from our Creator. If we can be humble enough to accept God’s acceptance of us, we are on our way!
Susan I know that you are resting in God’s embrace, even when you may not be aware of it. It brings to mind a favorite Latin saying…
VOCATUS ATQUE NON VOCATUS
DEUS ADERIT.
“BIDDEN OR UNBIDDEN
GOD IS PRESENT”
April 19th, 2006 @ 12:53 pm
Thanks so much to everyone who shared so openly. Of course your candidness helped me realize that I am still much involved with that self that wants to beimportant or noticed. It is like the color of my eyes; (always there). Some times I feel shame, or sabotage myself by shopping.
But at least I know it and can start all over after each fall.
Henri did. This is about really trusting that God does love us in a very personal way. With Jesus, we have a way out of the abyss. Henri says to work around the abyss. I am still learning. You all give me both hope and inspiration. Thank you.
Colette
April 19th, 2006 @ 6:04 am
Mae, I so agree with your last entry. While I was quick to respond to the first 2 discussion questions, I have really been struggling with this one and I wasn’t sure why. I think it was the 2nd part of the question that was bothering me. The thought that kept coming to me was “I am part of the problem. The message comes from me many times.” I was uncomfortable with that. But I think you summed it up beautifully. Yes, it is when I am weakened that it most often happens and it is when I am in that state that I deliver that untrue message to others. And then I feel terrible about myself! I do believe it is human nature and I don’t believe it will ever go away. And I so agree with you about how quickly things can go downhill. But if we take aspirin for a headache, that doesn’t mean we might not have another headache tomorrow. But we know what we can do to relieve the pain. Same is true with our spiritual lives. Over time, we learn how to lessen the incidence of those spiritual headaches (prayer, spiritual guidance, openness, blessings, etc.) but that headache (”spiritual dryness”) will still creep in. That we are aware of these headaches and that we spend our lives working to avoid them with the help of God’s love and forgiveness is what is important.
April 19th, 2006 @ 1:42 am
Where do these negative question message come from was the second part of the question. I suspect they often come from us (flawed human nature/thinking). Often they come for me when I get out of balance (either over challenged or underchallenged in some area of my life) or tired or even when I have not eaten properly or taken care of my health someway. Sometimes they come from external sources/other people–accusations or insinuations. I also think these questions arise when we feel a disconnect from the Holy Spirit or a period of spiritual dryness. When I am full of faith in my Lord, I can typically defeat negative thoughts pretty quickly and easily. But when I feel less close to God, for whatever reason, my thoughts can go downhill pretty quickly.
April 19th, 2006 @ 1:31 am
Also, I must say I think it is such a trick when our self talk or when the world tells us we are not good enough or adequate to the challenges before us, because it can tempt us to not even try to approach life using our own creative God given gifts.
April 19th, 2006 @ 1:29 am
Yes, we do tend to place such an emphasis on our careers. All too often I let my good work days and bad works days set the tone for my dealings with my family and friends that evening and that is neither healthy nor just. If we take each day as it comes and try to make something fruitful of it, we should feel satisfied at the end of the day and able to take care of others in our lives outside of work. It’s true what Henri says about God filling the desires of our hearts in His own way. We should trust and not fret.
April 18th, 2006 @ 10:27 pm
I agree we live in a world that tells everyone they’re inferior or unacceptable in one way or another. I have not been immune to these lies, but my belief in them lessens over time. I smiled about the implicit inquiry as to an “upward spiral” Ed mentioned. It is so true!!
The lies that stung and wounded me , that pushed me into self rejecting traps, involved my health. I am a recovered agoraphobic, who recovered solely through the grace of God and the path He led me toward,back to Him. I never understood what joy was, but looking back I was intoxicated with it, and a return to life that I thought impossible. I was open about my recovery and the blessing God bestowed upon me,but discovered that others took a very different view.Consequently, I experienced the “lies” about “mental” illness in ways too painful and pervasive to say. I am no longer joyful, but God has graced me with the strength to maintain most of my recovery and reserves to deal with other issues, which is a quite miraculous in itself. No matter what, I know I rest in God’s embrace, even when life is hard and my feelings or the world’s lies press against that surety. For now, I pray to “be still and know I am God.” Maybe this is part of becoming the “Beloved” and a joy as well.
April 18th, 2006 @ 10:00 pm
Dear Ed
I hope this message will travel across my password requiremenents
Good question for me..most of my peers are in politicts and they are very rich and powerful…they look at me and my family as un-succesfull persons
Henri teach us the right direction…Jesus too, see..Mat.23-1-12 No one should be called Magister
Walter
April 18th, 2006 @ 4:52 pm
Dear Ed,
I certainly agree with all that mention pressure in our society to measure up to some standard.
I live in Southern California, and the goal here is to be a “Newport Beach” woman. That means all the best plastic surgery, clothes, stylish fads, cars.It is all around me.
I hang onto everything thatHenri Nouwen says, and now the comments to keep me from falling into an endless and futile way of life.
These things are all around me; but I know that they cannot satisfy me.
I “The Inner Voice of Love” Henri tells us that God will fill the desires of our hearts in His own way.
He promises this to us.
Let’s stake everything on His Promise.
Blessings,
Colette
April 17th, 2006 @ 1:29 pm
Yes Ed, when Henri advocates ‘downward mobility’ as the way to go……it is very comforting. Then again that does not bode well with the standards of the world that admires and appreciates ‘upward mobility’ if not we are labelled ‘worthless’ ! Our focus needs to be on the Master since otherwise there is no logical acceptance for this kind of perspective.
In ‘Letters to Marc about Jesus’ he talks about how we submit the most intimate awareness of who we are to the fickle opinions of those around us, and thus sell our souls to the world. We’re no longer master in our own house. Our friends and enemies decide who we are and we beome the playthings of their good or bad opinions.
April 17th, 2006 @ 7:11 am
Oh my yes! The world mainly tells me that I’m not good enough. When we meet new people, for example, we’re often asked what we do — and the implicit question is whether we’re doing something important or interesting and whether we’re on an upward spiral. Henri tries to tell us that climbing high isn’t very important, and it’s a message I like to hear over and over and over again.