Discuss Henri Nouwen’s HOME TONIGHT

It has been a delight to facilitate the online discussion of Home Tonight with you all. I must admit when I first picked up the book, I thought it was going to be a ‘paraphrase’ of The Return of the Prodigal Son. It was much more than this I am so grateful that through the Henri Nouwen Society and our moderator Maureen, we were able to travel together through what appeared to be the dip of a valley (the son’s and exile of resentment) and then the steady gradual climb (stepping into the shoes of the Father) in this book.

Sharon, Liz, Rose, Deborah, Attila, Patty, Ed, Diane, Cheryl, you are all brilliant! Your thoughts and comments have made reading this book a refreshing and rich experience. To my beloved husband Norbert, it was a pleasure to journey with you and I know this book has made a difference in our lives.

I hope that you will all consider continuing our community reading and discussion after the week of May 25th, as I notice that the bulk of us are somewhere between Chapter Five and Seven. This week I will be away on retreat and Maureen will be facilitating for me and I do hope to join the group again next weekened upon my return.

For this last section, the epilogue, I am curious about two things:

1. What was your experience of our online discussion group? What are the advantages & disadvantages of a cyber-community?
2. If Henri Nouwen were alive and joining us for lunch next week, what would you say to him about Home Tonight: Further Reflections on the Parable of the Prodigal Son?

Take care and God Bless us all,
Kim Gottfried

1. Choose one of the five passages in the listening exercise. Find a quiet space and sit with the passage for 10-15 minutes. In the first three minutes, ask “what is being said in this passage?” In the next three minutes, ask yourself “what word or phrase stands out for me and what might God be saying to me through it?” In the last three minutes, stay with that word; repeat it gently, return to it if your mind starts to wander away. Listen for a response that arises from within you to the word (it could be a question, a feeling, an insight, etc). Stay with that feeling or insight and try not to think - just be with it. You can end the time with a short prayer or “Our Father”. Share with the group what happened. (Note: this type of prayer is known as Lectio Divina)

OR

2. Consider the invitation to “step courageously into the shoes of the one whose heart is filled with love for each person” and to “gently open yourself to compassion for those who you fear”.

What do you notice about your response to this invitation? Is it easy or difficult? How does it compare to stepping into either of the brother’s shoes (as we have been asked to do earlier in the book)?

After writing of the people in your life and ways you will try to embrace them, how do you feel? Any inspirations or insights?

“Jesus taught us the whole movement of God’s love with bread”. Read the bread image on pg 103-104 and reflect on Jesus’ taking, blessing, breaking, giving of bread.

In light of what we have read, within what part of the “movement” of God’s love do you find yourself? Where do you wish to be? How does our ability to receive mercy {practice #8} make a difference in the movement of God’s love?

1. Jesus says to his disciples ‘All the glory I receive from the One who affirms me is available for you to receive as well’ (top of pg 96) Jesus came to offer us the same full communion with the Spirit-Father-Mother-Lover that he himself enjoys.

For many, this offer is hard to fully grasp. Do we really believe it? Take another look at the painting and consider the following aspects of it that Henri offers us on page 97:

The eyes of the Father, the hands of the Father, the cape, the words of celebration spoken, the best robe, the ring for the son’s finger, the new sandals for his feet, the calf, the fiesta, the banquet.

Which of these speak to you about living full communion and intimacy with God?

1. From Listening, what are the images or insights that struck you while reading this chapter? What are these passages saying to you about your present life?

2. From the small quotes written in the margins throughout the book, share one from Part Two: “The Invisible Exile of Resentment” that impressed you.

1. On pages 71-73, Henri Nouwen talks about “the work to earn love ethic” that he once believed was a good ideal for life. he note that this image kept getting interrupted and torn to shreds. In your opinion, what is the difference between working to earn love (in primary relationships) and living these relationships out of gratitude for a gift? How would that have made a difference in the older son’s position in the painting?
2. After completing any or all of the “listening, journaling, dialoguing” exercises, write a brief prayer asking God or Jesus for what you desire. If you are comfortable, share the prayer with our online community.

After reading this chapter, can you identify with the elder son in any way? If so, how? Complete the listening and journaling exercises and share any further insights that you had about the elder son in the painting.

Chapter 2: “The Younger Son”
1. Can you recall a time in your life when you wanted to “cut loose or do something other than what was considered to be decent or appropriate”? (p. 21) Did this desire lead you to a “leaving home experience? (Note: “leaving home” does not have to be a literal leaving.) Have you attempted any returns?
2. Try the “listening” exercise. When you approached the parable or the painting from the perspective of posture, what new insights did you receive?

Chapter 3: “From L’Arche to a Second Loneliness”
1. In talking about a second loneliness, Henri Nouwen shares the following, “The more I find intimacy with the Creator of my life, the more loneliness I experience.” Does this insight make sense to you? Why or why not?

2. What are the “heart cries” that you hear from the people in the parable when you become conscious of their loneliness? Can you share something of how their heart cry resonates with you? Within which circle (from the ones that we drew) do you find yourself as you complete “Listening” or “Communing”? ( pages 48-49)

As Rose observed, this book invites people to go quite deep and each chapter can take some time to navigate through as well as ‘bring it home’ to our own experience. We will stay with the schedule posted, however please work through the chapters at the pace that best suits you! I can see from our online community that we are really working through the chapters together in a great way and for that reason I would prefer that we as a community set the pace!
Sincerely,
Kim

Suggestion: read the book with a journal or writing pad near by.
Save some time for quiet and reflection

1. What struck me about Henri Nouwen’s story of discovering L’Arche was that after the visit of Jan Rise and after the phone call with Jean Vanier, he had an inner feeling that “something important was happening”. Can you recall times in your life where you had that inner feeling that something significant was happening? Does anything about Practice #1: Attentive to the “signs” (p 11) stand out for you in light of your own experience?

2. After “Listening” on (p 9) where did you find yourself located as a guest in the painting, “The Return of the Prodigal Son”? Did you hear anything?