Befriending Life: Encounters with Henri Nouwen

Befriending Life: Encounters with Henri Nouwen Edited by Beth Porter with Susan M.S. Brown and Philip Coulter.

Image Books, 2001 Reviewed by Maryanne Hannan in the December 2002 issue of Sacred Journey: The Journal of Fellowship in Prayer. Maryanne is a poet living in upstate New York.

Befriending Life: Encounters with Henri Nouwen is dedicated "to all those for whom Henri Nouwen's ministry and writing have been a source of life."

The editors might have extended the dedication to all those for whom his life has been a source of mystery, for this anthology of forty-two personal recollections sheds a great deal of light on the gifted, enigmatic priest. The growing fascination with the personality and peccadilloes of Henri, as all the contributors call him, is rooted in the recognition that the man was part of the message. Long-time friends Bart and Patricia Gavigan note the paradox: "Henri preached urgently and often the central Christian truth of the incarnation, yet he himself was spectacularly ill at ease in his body." Still, they say, "For Henri, the heroic task of spiritual beings trying to live embodied lives was at the very core of theology." Several contributors mention his large hands and exuberant gestures. Bob Massie, a friend dating from Henri's tenure at Yale, refers to his hands as a "ten-member liturgical dance corps." Others mention that he could be downright annoying at times. But most people write of how profound their interaction with him was, how differently they perceived life as a result of his friendship. The repetition in the various accounts from all different perspectives, from people who knew him at Notre Dame and the Menninger Foundation when he first came to the United States, through his tenure at Yale and Harvard Divinity Schools, and his ministry at L'Arche Daybreak in Toronto, Canada, all come together to present a realistic portrait of an unusual character. The essays and interviews are arranged without any obvious order, but incrementally, artfully, the man emerges.

Contributors were asked to faithfully record Henri as they remembered him, rather than to eulogize him. This is a great boon. As a result, some of the personal agonies, the loneliness and betrayals that Henri confessed to in his prolific spiritual writings, now make sense. Nathan Ball's essay, "A Covenant of Friendship," with its painfully acquired understanding of Henri is invaluable. Seeing Henri in the role of suffering servant, he writes: "His own personal suffering, often triggered by feelings of rejection, isolation, or abandonment, was equally large. I came to see his capacity to suffer as an expression of his unusual human capacity."

Dealing with some of the same material, Peter Naus concludes in his incisive essay, "A Man of Creative Contradictions," that Henri's "personal tragedy was his gift to others." But what about the joy of life Henri embodied? That too is fully represented in this collection, with many instances given of his celebration of liturgy, his ability to turn life's tragedies into moments of grace. Jean Vanier writes at length about Henri's love of Eucharist, noting "Because the Eucharist was of such significance to him, he had a natural talent for making it meaningful, for showing its connectedness to our lives." Mary Bastedo recollects his first Christmas at L'Arche with candles everywhere and him moving "excitedly about, his vestments brushing against the flames," to the dismay of their community leader, "a stickler about fire safety." Details such as these, preserved in this collection, bring Henri alive for those who have not had the privilege to meet him. And interspersed throughout the book are excerpts from his own writing which serve as a powerful incentive to read or reread his books. Clearly, Father Henri Nouwen was a living testimony to the gospel message he wrote and preached: that God loved us in our brokenness.

As I read the contributions, though, I wondered which one would have delighted him most and based on what everyone else said about him, I am tempted to make a guess. Gordon Henry is a core member of L'Arche who sometimes accompanied Henri on his tours. In the interview he gave for this book, Gordon said, "I find it a little bit hard now. I wish Henri would be here to tell stories about me."

That, I guess, would be Henri's message as well. It is not about Henri; it is about Gordon and all God's children. Printed with permission.  For more information, visit www.sacredjourney.org.

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